If only i didn't keep hoping.
If only i didn't believe in wishes coming true
If only i could just accept...
then i could have given up.
i could have given in.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
Happy Birthday Ma!
I hate furniture shopping. Especially with my mum. She is just not capable of making up her mind!
And she insists on dragging me and dad along all the time. Now dad grumbles a lot and manages to get out of it most of the time, but if I say something, she’ll start blackmailing me with how she’s not there just to cook and clean, she needs love and furniture-shopping-companion too!
It’s usually just easier (on my nerves) to go along with her.
It was my mum’s birthday on the 11th.
Last time we’d gone to Ikea, we saw this sofa, and she said she liked it, but she thought it too expensive.
So I thought I’d get that one for her birthday as a surprise. Not only would she get her sofa, I’d never have to go sofa shopping again for a long time! Two birds with one stone and all that!
So I went off by myself (on the evening of the 10th), bought the sofa (2 + 3 seater), lugged it back home, assembled the two seater and showed it to her, and she didn’t like it! (She also didn’t remember ever having seen it before) Of course she didn’t say it out straight that she didn’t like it! She hemmed and hawed about how it was too light and would get dirty soon, and about how the arm rest was a “bit too thin” and stuff.
Then she suggested returning it.
Sigh! Returning it would be such a pain! But I had no choice.
The next day, I called up Ikea, and they told me that they cannot take anything that’s been assembled, but they’re willing to take back the ones we didn’t open.
But my mum wudn’t listen (apparently, a bazillion years ago the neighbours had been able to return something that they bought from Ikea. So the policies should remain the SAME of course, and they “would surely take it back since we bought it just yesterday!”)
So her bday was spent lugging the sofas back to Ikea and pleading with them to take back the 2 seater as well.
Obviously Ikea, just like on the phone, apologized a lot but did not take it back.
And mum was okay with that! Cos otherwise, she’d had “kept thinking that they would have taken it back if only we’d tried"
!!!
She’s my mum and I love her,sure.
But she drives me crazzzzzzzy!
And she insists on dragging me and dad along all the time. Now dad grumbles a lot and manages to get out of it most of the time, but if I say something, she’ll start blackmailing me with how she’s not there just to cook and clean, she needs love and furniture-shopping-companion too!
It’s usually just easier (on my nerves) to go along with her.
It was my mum’s birthday on the 11th.
Last time we’d gone to Ikea, we saw this sofa, and she said she liked it, but she thought it too expensive.
So I thought I’d get that one for her birthday as a surprise. Not only would she get her sofa, I’d never have to go sofa shopping again for a long time! Two birds with one stone and all that!
So I went off by myself (on the evening of the 10th), bought the sofa (2 + 3 seater), lugged it back home, assembled the two seater and showed it to her, and she didn’t like it! (She also didn’t remember ever having seen it before) Of course she didn’t say it out straight that she didn’t like it! She hemmed and hawed about how it was too light and would get dirty soon, and about how the arm rest was a “bit too thin” and stuff.
Then she suggested returning it.
Sigh! Returning it would be such a pain! But I had no choice.
The next day, I called up Ikea, and they told me that they cannot take anything that’s been assembled, but they’re willing to take back the ones we didn’t open.
But my mum wudn’t listen (apparently, a bazillion years ago the neighbours had been able to return something that they bought from Ikea. So the policies should remain the SAME of course, and they “would surely take it back since we bought it just yesterday!”)
So her bday was spent lugging the sofas back to Ikea and pleading with them to take back the 2 seater as well.
Obviously Ikea, just like on the phone, apologized a lot but did not take it back.
And mum was okay with that! Cos otherwise, she’d had “kept thinking that they would have taken it back if only we’d tried"
!!!
She’s my mum and I love her,sure.
But she drives me crazzzzzzzy!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I feel...
...restless, uneasy, anxious, worried, nervous, fidgety, confused,irritated, bored, boring, alone, lonely, angry, helpless, scared,cornered, wistful, sad, emotional...
pretty fucking awful.
pretty fucking awful.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Food for the soul
I woke up in the morning with the song Teri Deewani by Kailash Kher in my head.
It was just 6 am.
I tried singing it.
Then I felt like I needed to hear it RIGHT THEN!
So I went online and got the song and played it on endless loop for hours.
tere naam se jee loon
tere naam se marr jaaun
teri jaan ke sadke mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani
Sighhhhh!! How beautiful is that huh!
I cannot even begin to describe what I feel when I hear this song.
It is so overwhelming, the feeling that washes over me.... it reinforces my faith in all that I believe in.
It makes me happy and sad and gives me hope and makes me feel helpless all at the same time.
Siiiiigh!
Somebody hand me a margarita!
It was just 6 am.
I tried singing it.
Then I felt like I needed to hear it RIGHT THEN!
So I went online and got the song and played it on endless loop for hours.
tere naam se jee loon
tere naam se marr jaaun
teri jaan ke sadke mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
teri deewani
Sighhhhh!! How beautiful is that huh!
I cannot even begin to describe what I feel when I hear this song.
It is so overwhelming, the feeling that washes over me.... it reinforces my faith in all that I believe in.
It makes me happy and sad and gives me hope and makes me feel helpless all at the same time.
Siiiiigh!
Somebody hand me a margarita!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Dead tired, but alive.
I'm tired.
I had a pretty...err... eventful day.
I had an accident on the Emirates Road.
Now whoever lives in the UAE will know that this road is one of the worst roads ever for anyone to have an accident. The only other road which can compare is the Shk Zayed Rd. The accidents that take place here (in dubai) are so bad that they actually have a dedicated column in the papers called "Crash of the Week" where they write about how many people have died so far this year and show a pic of the worst crash of the week. Most of them take place on these two roads.
That's Dubai for you!
The Land of Accidents.
So I guess I was lucky that nothing serious happened.
It was my mistake, and it was such a stupid mistake that I'm not gonna tell you how it happened. and NO, I was not speeding!
(excuse me a min, this is for the person who knows how it happened. STOP GRINNING!)
ok, where were we?
Ah yes, stuck on the Emirates Rd. I hit this minibus containing a load of men on their way to the airport. They were very sweet about it even though I was such a dumbass.
I kept apologizing and they said "no worries madam, it's ok, it happens..." !!!
I called the cops. They came soon enough and smiled at me ( policemen here are real polite)
"How are you today ?"
me:(smiling and putting on best helpless-weak-woman look) : Not so good officer!
Police: what happened? Are you okay?
Me: I feel so stupid officer, you won't believe what I did. I... ( no. I really won't tell you)
police( grinning and thoroughly enjoying themselves) : oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of people.
My car was kinda damaged though the bus was fine. The radiator broke and there was coolant all over the place.
The police apologized (several times) for having to fine me ( honest!) and they said it was part of the procedure. They were very helpful, they called a tow truck and arranged to have someone come and pick up the car. The bus left. The police stood there awhile, and then I got tired of acting helpless so I told them I'll be fine and they left.
My manager lives close to my place, so he picked me up on his way back and I got home about two and a half hours late feeling extremely tired and drained out.
Standing there waiting for the tow-truck and my manager to come was the most awful part.
Cos this is the highway, nothing but desert on all sides and vehicles zooming by at 140 kmph.
At one point of time, this land cruiser came and stopped a few feet away from me and asked me if I needed help. I just shook my head and prayed that they would just leave! Thankfully, they left. Dubai isn't as safe as it portrays itself to be.
Joe ( my car) is gonna be out of action for a few days.
So my weekend is ruined as well. I've got two tickets to the 101.6 ( local radio station) ka Wild Wadi party tomm night. I have no way to get there and no one to go with anyway.
Sigh! what a sad turn of events!
But seriously though, I'm only thankful that things were so much better than it could have been.
I'm lucky I guess, in a weird sorta way.
I had a pretty...err... eventful day.
I had an accident on the Emirates Road.
Now whoever lives in the UAE will know that this road is one of the worst roads ever for anyone to have an accident. The only other road which can compare is the Shk Zayed Rd. The accidents that take place here (in dubai) are so bad that they actually have a dedicated column in the papers called "Crash of the Week" where they write about how many people have died so far this year and show a pic of the worst crash of the week. Most of them take place on these two roads.
That's Dubai for you!
The Land of Accidents.
So I guess I was lucky that nothing serious happened.
It was my mistake, and it was such a stupid mistake that I'm not gonna tell you how it happened. and NO, I was not speeding!
(excuse me a min, this is for the person who knows how it happened. STOP GRINNING!)
ok, where were we?
Ah yes, stuck on the Emirates Rd. I hit this minibus containing a load of men on their way to the airport. They were very sweet about it even though I was such a dumbass.
I kept apologizing and they said "no worries madam, it's ok, it happens..." !!!
I called the cops. They came soon enough and smiled at me ( policemen here are real polite)
"How are you today ?"
me:(smiling and putting on best helpless-weak-woman look) : Not so good officer!
Police: what happened? Are you okay?
Me: I feel so stupid officer, you won't believe what I did. I... ( no. I really won't tell you)
police( grinning and thoroughly enjoying themselves) : oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of people.
My car was kinda damaged though the bus was fine. The radiator broke and there was coolant all over the place.
The police apologized (several times) for having to fine me ( honest!) and they said it was part of the procedure. They were very helpful, they called a tow truck and arranged to have someone come and pick up the car. The bus left. The police stood there awhile, and then I got tired of acting helpless so I told them I'll be fine and they left.
My manager lives close to my place, so he picked me up on his way back and I got home about two and a half hours late feeling extremely tired and drained out.
Standing there waiting for the tow-truck and my manager to come was the most awful part.
Cos this is the highway, nothing but desert on all sides and vehicles zooming by at 140 kmph.
At one point of time, this land cruiser came and stopped a few feet away from me and asked me if I needed help. I just shook my head and prayed that they would just leave! Thankfully, they left. Dubai isn't as safe as it portrays itself to be.
Joe ( my car) is gonna be out of action for a few days.
So my weekend is ruined as well. I've got two tickets to the 101.6 ( local radio station) ka Wild Wadi party tomm night. I have no way to get there and no one to go with anyway.
Sigh! what a sad turn of events!
But seriously though, I'm only thankful that things were so much better than it could have been.
I'm lucky I guess, in a weird sorta way.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Help!!!!!
I'm swamped with work! I've got a million emails I need to reply to ( yes, that's what my job is about - replying to emails. my incentives depend on clearing my inbox! *kidddding* )
I didn't go to office today, had to attend a training in DIC ( dubai internet city) at our vendor's office. It was the worst, most boring presentation ever! Staying awake has never been so tough.
And I have another crap thing to attend tomm too. Sigh! I'll be at the Marriot all day. I hope the food is better there than at the DIC. They had the crappiest food! Stuffed vine leaves sound exotic, and taste like .... I dunno, neem leaves or something. Judging by the look of the people around me, I'm sure I must have made some weird faces while trying to eat it. They had a load of other crap too. It's nothing to blog about.
I hate these affairs where people pretend to listen to bigwigs speak about the most boring things in the world while all everyone else seems to be bothered only about 'networking' and creating new 'contacts'. Everyone excluding me of course. I, being the absent-minded genius that I am, left my business cards safely in my drawer at work right next to this cute little beanie and a pack of stapler pins. So I grinned sheepishly and carried around a wad of tissues to write my number down.
Errr, that last bit isn't true of course.
Anyway, it's late, and I have a full day tomorrow since I have to go to work again after the marriot thing. I hope the presentation isn't gonna be as boring as it was today!
Wish I could buy those Puking Pastilles I read about in Harry Potter somewhere!
I didn't go to office today, had to attend a training in DIC ( dubai internet city) at our vendor's office. It was the worst, most boring presentation ever! Staying awake has never been so tough.
And I have another crap thing to attend tomm too. Sigh! I'll be at the Marriot all day. I hope the food is better there than at the DIC. They had the crappiest food! Stuffed vine leaves sound exotic, and taste like .... I dunno, neem leaves or something. Judging by the look of the people around me, I'm sure I must have made some weird faces while trying to eat it. They had a load of other crap too. It's nothing to blog about.
I hate these affairs where people pretend to listen to bigwigs speak about the most boring things in the world while all everyone else seems to be bothered only about 'networking' and creating new 'contacts'. Everyone excluding me of course. I, being the absent-minded genius that I am, left my business cards safely in my drawer at work right next to this cute little beanie and a pack of stapler pins. So I grinned sheepishly and carried around a wad of tissues to write my number down.
Errr, that last bit isn't true of course.
Anyway, it's late, and I have a full day tomorrow since I have to go to work again after the marriot thing. I hope the presentation isn't gonna be as boring as it was today!
Wish I could buy those Puking Pastilles I read about in Harry Potter somewhere!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Same old topic!
Weddings to attend:
1. August 18th - family friend and school mate's wedding.
2. August 20th- College friend's marriage
Also August 20th- I turn 25. ( I doubt my family will celebrate)
3. Auguest 29th- Another college friend's marriage
4. Sept sometime- ex-boyfriend plans to elope with his girlfriend. (No, I'm not going for this one)
4. Dec sometime - family friend's marriage who is a year younger to me.
Dunno if i'll have to add onto that, but the way things are going, I may not have a single friend left. Oh wait, I don't! (online friends don't count, I can't point at their IM window and tell my mum, see, HE'S still not married!)
It's kinda depressing when your parents look at like you like an unfinished chore.
But what am I supposed to do huh?
My mum comes up to me and says "5"8, software engineer, UK-based, salary- $$$% p.a., mum - retired lecturer, dad- banker, are you interested?"
What the hell am I supposed to say to that huh?
If someone tells me "your time will come" or some such shit I'll ...I'll... I dunno, scream with frustration (again) I guess.
I mean, this state of not being married is not a disease you know.
But with the way everyone's going on about it, it's completely depressing.
It's not like I don't wanna get married, I do!
But for the right reasons ( like love).
But cos everyone round me is running round tying the knot, I'm feeling all left out and depressed and I'm beginning to feel like everyone else is right, that there won't be ( worse, there isn't) anyone who would wanna marry me.
God! What the fuck is gonna happen to me?!
1. August 18th - family friend and school mate's wedding.
2. August 20th- College friend's marriage
Also August 20th- I turn 25. ( I doubt my family will celebrate)
3. Auguest 29th- Another college friend's marriage
4. Sept sometime- ex-boyfriend plans to elope with his girlfriend. (No, I'm not going for this one)
4. Dec sometime - family friend's marriage who is a year younger to me.
Dunno if i'll have to add onto that, but the way things are going, I may not have a single friend left. Oh wait, I don't! (online friends don't count, I can't point at their IM window and tell my mum, see, HE'S still not married!)
It's kinda depressing when your parents look at like you like an unfinished chore.
But what am I supposed to do huh?
My mum comes up to me and says "5"8, software engineer, UK-based, salary- $$$% p.a., mum - retired lecturer, dad- banker, are you interested?"
What the hell am I supposed to say to that huh?
If someone tells me "your time will come" or some such shit I'll ...I'll... I dunno, scream with frustration (again) I guess.
I mean, this state of not being married is not a disease you know.
But with the way everyone's going on about it, it's completely depressing.
It's not like I don't wanna get married, I do!
But for the right reasons ( like love).
But cos everyone round me is running round tying the knot, I'm feeling all left out and depressed and I'm beginning to feel like everyone else is right, that there won't be ( worse, there isn't) anyone who would wanna marry me.
God! What the fuck is gonna happen to me?!
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