In Kerala

yup. i'm in kerala.

my folks got here early, so i was on my own in dxb for close to 3 weeks. which was goooooooood. :o)

and now i'm in india. all sick with cold and cough (which happens EVERYtime i come to india, for some odd reason) but i've had sooo much FUN here, which i totally did NOT expect.

what i expected was to be forced to "see" odd mallu men and be coaxed to get married to one or the other or explain what exactly my "intentions" were. But my uncle (who's The Boss of the family) has given strict instructions to everrrrryone (including my parents) to leave me well alone, and that i can choose to marry whenever i want to and whomever i want to.
:D
which is cool.

So i've been travelling in and around kerala a lot, finally being able to admire the beauty of this place (which i never realizedb efore as i was always sullen and angry about the marriage thing), eating deelicious food from amazing restaurants and generally having fun with my cousins (who have flown down from the u.k. on holiday) and sister.

i've met with my old friends from college. one of them had come down from Bangalore, and when she came into my house... I didn't even feel like I was "meeting her" again after so long or anything...it was so norrrmal, and that felt soo good!

This visit is so far one of my best visits to Kerala.

I've learned to like the place.

I've discovered my family is actually quite fun and i feel for them more than i thought i do.

I've learned that old friends are the bestttt!

and... I've learned that MEN ARE ALL THE SAME (this is directed at ONE particular man who will be reading this post, whenever
he reads this post. so no, i won't explain further, and yes, Mr. Man, you're in Trouble. i don't care for your excuses!)

Trigger for Happiness

I was all normal-like... driving home.
And then the RJ played dekha jo tujhe yar dil mein naji guitar...

I KNOW it's a comPLEtely silly maamu kinda song. And I HATTED it when I first heard it, but now whenever I listen to it, my feet start tap-tapping and I can't help but dance. :D (go on K! Call me a plebian! I don't care!)

So this guy (the RJ) had me dancing around ( if anyone driving on the Shk. Zayed Rd last Tuesday saw a crazy girl in the car who was jumping around...hi! that was me :D) all the way home, and once I got home, I went online and started listening to all the desi dance numbers.

Which brought me to Fanaa from Yuva.
Which took me to Khuda Hafiz... which took me all the way back to Delhi..to when I used to wake up late in the afternoon during the hot summers there. I used to stay in Hauz Khas at the time, near the market.

There was this place there where they used to sell ready-made chicken curry. I used to buy that and brown bread and heat it in the stove and that was lunch. That and kesar-flavoured milk.

I would get a book from the library (and by "library" I mean a guy at a wayside stall with a bunch of second-hand books that I could rent for a couple of bucks a day)
I would get back and have toast and chicken all set for lunch, and when I turned on the TV, Khuda Hafiz would be on a lot at the time.

I was seeing R at the time, but this memrory of mine is just of me, alone.

My little bubble of happiness. Where I was content with my own company without really realizing it.
I'm not sure if I love the song so much for the memories it evokes or cos it's just such an awesome song.

...Kal Miley Na Miley Sochna Hai Kya
Shor Mein Abhi Kuch Bolna Hai Kya
Ye Jo Pal Hain Wo Apne Hain
Ruk Ja Zara O Deeewani...

Such simple triggers for happiness! Who would've thunk!

Family Ties - II

I don’t know how many of you still come here, but for anyone that does…

If you remember this post…

The girl in question got married last Thursday.

:o)

I'm so happy for her!
Although she’s had to go through hell for it. Her dad finally just signed the no-objection letter. But they refused to have anything more to do with her.
Told her alright, if that’s what you want, go ahead.
Just go.

And she left. She’s been holding on for so long trying to make them understand. But I guess people have different priorities. Some people care too much about what others think. Her parents were more bothered about society than their daughters’ happiness.

I wonder why parents do this to themselves and their children. So much of hatred and anger, so much heartache…all for what?

I have seen several instances where the children love and respect their parents and wish that they would be accepted by their parents for who they are. And so they wait and wait, hoping that their parents will someday understand and accept them and the choices they have made.
Unfortunately, the parents don’t change, and the finally, the children get weary and resentful, and they stop trying.
Which is sad.

Hopefully, these children will treat their own children better.

How you can tell I work in I.T.

My colleague and I were going to work together.

On the radio, they were playing that song from the movie hum dil de chuke sanam – Tadap Tadap.
I love that song and I think the lyrics are amazing.
Except there were some bits I didn’t understand (my Hindi isn’t that great, and my Urdu is pathetic!)

…Agar Mile Khuda Koh
Poochhoonga Khudaya
Jism Mujhe Deke Mitti Ka
Sheeshay Sa Dil Kyon Banaya
Aur Us Pe Diya Fitrat
Ke Woh Karta Hai Mohabbat
Wah Re Wah Teri Kudrat…

So I asked my colleague "Umm.. dude? What’s fitrat?"

"Ummm… configuration."

And I understood exactly what he meant.

:)

My Orkut Fortune for the Day:

Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you

:o)

To borrow a line from Nike ... Just Do It!

A while back, a friend of mine (F) told me he was going for salsa with his wife and the classes were a lot of fun so I should join in as well. I've wanted to learn salsa for yeaaaars now, but never quite got round to it. So I was very enthusiastic when he told me about it.

That was 3 weeks ago, but I never actually went.

First week, F didn't go for the class. So I didn't go either. I should have gone, I know. But I chickened out.
The next week, his wife fell down and hurt her leg. Which meant he'd be missing classes for some more time.

I badly wanted to go, but everytime I thought of going and making a fool of myself in front of a bunch of people, I'd make some excuse or the other to myself.
And giving excuses to yourself is awwwful. Cos you know the real reason. So today, I called up this girl from work (R) who was interested and made plans to go with her.

And then, I had another one of the (now regular) fights with my folks about marriage.

I keep telling them I'd find someone on my own, but they aren't willing to wait. (It's too late, you're too old, why would they marry you... my folks instill such confidence in me with their encouraging words that if I did find someone genuinely interested, I'd be surprised.)

Today it got down to What are you going to do if no one marries you? (note the choice of words? 'no one marries you'. Not 'if you don't get married' my folks are convinced that only a total nutcase would ever want to get married to me! )

I told them "then I'll live alone".

Afterwards, I got ready for salsa, went to pick up R and had just parked near her place when she called up to cancel cos she wasn't feeling well.

I got off the phone and just sat there, thinking.
I was terrified of the prospect of going alone. I had no partner to dance with, I didn't know how to dance (ok, I can, but I'm very conscious and feel awkward) and I was just .... a wuss.

How the hell was I going to live alone all my life if I couldn't even go for a dance class by myself?!

My friend(who knows about this i'll-do-it-later tendency of mine when it comes to salsa) kept telling me it's OK to be terrified.
(Said friend would not dance even if a gun was pointed to his head, fyi! :P
Truly though, he was the only person encouraging me with anything at that point of time and I'm really grateful for that!
K, u Rock! in a sober and sedate kinda way, but you do rock! )

He said "If you do it, you'll feel great"

I didn't know about that.
But what I knew was that if I didn't go, then I'd feel terrible about myself. And I wasn't going to make me feel terrible about myself as well. I had had enough of that from others.

So I went.
I was terrified, but I went.
And it was wonderful. I loved it.

I met a lot of fun people, and though I'm sure I danced badly, I had a LOT of fun doing it.

It's not that big a deal to join a dance class, I know. But I was terrified, I was alone and I was badly in need of confidence, which I knew I wasn't going to get from anyone but myself.
And I feel a lot better now.

So I'm learning.
:o)

Me.

As I write this my dad is on the phone talking about me to a strange man who is the father of another strange man who is, apparently, an engineer, has done his BTech from so and so university and MTech from some other place and is working in dubai as well, and is, of course, is of marriageable age.

I'm listening to my dad put all of my life in 5 minutes of conversation... she's an engineer(that part comes first of course) ... she's 5 feet 3 inches.... she's been in dubai all her life... she's working in so-and-so place... and we need to check if the horoscopes match... yes...

so then... this is it. that's my life as my dad knows it.

"So Sonia, we'll go meet this guy tonight ok"

"Ok dad."

whatever!