Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Family Ties

There's this friend of mine at work.
She's a Muslim and she's in love with a Hindu guy.
Her parents don't approve. ( of course! So what else is new!)

She's 25 years old, and the man she's in love with is 27. They're both working, and they're both of sound mind and body and perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

But they can't marry unless her parents agree.
Cos of the law. Indian law.
Apparently, as long as a person is an NRI and under the sponsership of his or her parents, then they will require a no-objection letter of the parents in order to get married. Even if they are in India.

The guy in question is under his employer's sponsership, but the girl is sponsered by her father. (fyi, the guy's parents are actually okay with the girl and have actually agreed to try and talk to her parents to get them to agree. But her parents aren't exactly the kind who'll listen.)
She cannot change her sponsership unless her present sponser (her father) agrees to it.
So she's stuck and has no idea what to do.

Did I mention her parents have hidden her passport?


peaceguy said...

as per the shariah law, a girl's marriage is void if its held without the consent of her folks. it applies in dubai too. the best way would be to approach the indian consulate n get some real advice. or they could go to the ruler's court (no, they wont hang them). or get hold of the passport somehow n elop to some other country like sri lanka or something and get married under their marriage act.

SID said...

I've heard of the plight of many poor NRI's far away from home but this oneis definitely the first of it's kind. There is a women's cell as part of the Ministry of NRI's or whatever they call it which helps. Maybe she could write to them.

chrissynb said...

Muslims are not very open to marrying into other communities. Though again I can think of 3 people I know who have married muslims men and women and it has been fine.Maybe she could come back to India and get a job here and marry the guy here.

hj said...

as peaceguy said, one of the best things to do is run away to some other country and marry, or get her passport and go to india itself. they can work for sometime and then get new documents forged, anything is possible with money. getting the passport from her dad should not be that difficult, just a lil work of brains.

another option if they are really in love is for the guy to convert, just for the paper sake to get married, after marriage ofcourse its them to decide what religion each one wants to follow..since his folks are cool they mite understand?!

AB said...

It sounds sad. It's funny how parents don't often think twice before doing something as childish as hiding a passport...Surely there must be some way to work it out...

Sonia said...

peaceguy: getting hold of the passport is NOT easy. Her dad is based in Muscat.

Sid: Maybe. I'll ask her. But I doubt anything can be done if the law is what it's like.

chrissynb: A person's outlook to life depends on their upbringing and whatever he/she has been influenced by. My best friend is a muslim and she's in love with a hindu guy too. I don't think being a muslim or christian or whatever has anything to do with it.

HJ: no one wants to convert. And it wouldn't help get the girl's folks to agree. They just don't like to relinquish control. That's the main problem I feel.

AB: I SO know what you mean. Parents can be extremely childish! And things can get so complicated with small things! She absolutely canNOT get her passport. Her parents have taken it away from her, and her dad is based in Muscat. And it's a lot more complicated that what I've mentioned.

hj said...

can she consult any lawyer?? she can file a case against her dad and get the passport to leave the country giving some excuse and go back to india...its a filmy scene but possiblities are always there

peaceguy said...

a close friend of mine (indian christian) was in love with a pak girl with pretty much similar problems, perhaps worse. her folks coerced her into marriage. current status is, though a little late, she fought n broke off the marriage n almost in the verge of getting married to her love. where theres a will therez a......but then again one cant totally overlook the parent's point of view...i guess its not fair.

indianpeppone said...

In that case, the next best option is to 'buy' a passport ... go to india and get married... its quite prevalant here, isnt it??

peaceguy said...

to get hold of the passport, she can go to the police. even though the father is the sponsor, he has no right to hold the passport. worse comes worse, he will cancel her visa and send her back to india which will do go to her only. if u approach the indian consul, they will surely lead u to a practical solution.

KJ said...

i think the best is to approach the indian consulate for advice.

Hope all ok with u.

take care