Thursday, April 20, 2006

Tired of waiting

You go through life thinking you’re fine. You’ve ‘moved on’.
Of course, things aren’t easy. But that’s life ain’t it?
Nobody said it was gonna be easy.

And you’re fine, really!
You’ve made your mistakes and hopefully learnt your lessons.

Pure pure joy in the beginning- joy, hope, and love; followed by inconsolable grief, anger, bitterness…
Is it all worth-it?

Some say it is.
They say it’s better to have loved and lost.
As time goes by the hatred turns to bitterness, then you learn to accept. The memories don’t hurt so much anymore.

They say if you haven’t loved, then you haven’t lived.
So tell me then- is this life?
This… semblance of normalcy that fools you for some time, until that thin veil of self-deceit breaks.
Broken by the simplest of things.
Like hearing a silly song on the radio that make your eyes brim with tears all over again.
The tears that was supposed to have already fallen.

Didn’t you think he wasn’t worth crying for?
Oh but he isn’t.
You don’t care about him. (thank God for small mercies)
It’s not him that you’re crying for.
It’s you.

For the hope that has died. For the cynicism that has taken its place.
For the trust that has been broken.
For the person you have become.

But it’s all good.
You go on, telling yourself that it’s all a test.

The heart is broken, but the spirit lives on.
But why though?

That’s what I wanna know.

Someone tell me why. Cos I’m tired of waiting for an answer.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

On the Prowl?

P is my colleague from work. This is the conversation I had with him today:

P: So Sonia, are you married?
Me: Nope.
P: Ah, so you can join R in the man-hunt. She’s unmarried too!
Me: Err… you have to hunt?
P: Of course, gone are the days when proposals come raining down. Now, a person will have to hunt for a partner.
Me: I don’t want to.
P: Why not?
Me: Not interested.
P: Why, scared of the responsibility of family life, of having kids and being responsible?
Me: No, not interested in “hunting”.

Someone please tell me what he said is not true!
I’m not a hunter and can never be one.