Saturday, September 26, 2009

Movie Moments

Today we all went to watch a movie. Inglorious Basterds. We decided kinda at the last minute, and around 9 people ended up coming. After the movie, we went to get ice-cream, and we were all sitting around our table at the ice-cream shop, planning our next trip (to Spain *fingers crossed*) and joking and laughing and just generally being when one couple takes out a sheet of paper and passes it around.
It's a sonogram.

She's pregnant and he's beaming with happiness.
Everyone's shocked and overjoyed and hugging the girl and shaking hands, making cracks about getting old and having babies and midnight cravings and labour rooms and whatnot. I'm so excited and happy for her, for them.

Of course, the moment was bitter-sweet.
We're all growing up now. We won't be able to take off to Spain, or even a movie, at a moment's notice anymore. Priorities change, life happens, as it should!

The whole scene today, the atmosphere at the ice-cream parlour, everyone's general bonhomie... I just want to capture moments like these. And hope that I too, some day, may have a day like this. I realize now that I don't want anything very extraordinary out of life.
Love, marriage, babies, friendship... that's not too bad is it? Or is it too much to ask for?

I guess I'll worry about it another day.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Why wait for the new year for change?

My sis leaves tomorrow, my job sucks, my love-life is non-existent, my friends are busy with their own lives...
So, instead of moping around, I thought I'd do something interesting.
I've volunteered for MEIFF. I hope to do something different, meet new people, have some fun...
a little change is always for the better, right?!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Good things will come!

You know... regarding the below post... I was upset last night, yes. For all of the reasons I mentioned already. But it was temporary. I talked to K, who tried his best to make me feel better (at 1:30am his time, poor thing) and then I called my best friend N (sometimes you need to talk to a girl to make you feel better!).
I told her " N! J is a dad!" and she said " So?" and instantly I felt better.
And I got to thinking about things and realized that I don't have any regrets regarding any of my relationships. Even the one that I'm not in now (it's complicated). And I don't even for a second regret the fact that I did not get married to any of the people my parents wanted me to.
I know of people who were "coaxed" into marriage by their parents thinking that they were doing the right thing. And everytime I feel bad about being alone, I think about these people I know who have miserable married lives and pull their marriage certificate over their eyes to convince themselves they are not as alone as I am.

Well, at least I have hope!

Monday, September 14, 2009

I've been ill for the past few days. I went online today, tired of lying in bed all day long. Got online and the ex-boyfriend comes online. The one who at one point of time I thought was the love of my life. The one who hit me. The one who stalked me after we broke up. The one whom I took years to get over. The one who made me think I will not be able to fall in love again (thank God I was wrong about that!)

He wanted to let me know that he's become a dad.

I have no words to describe what I feel right now.
I don't love him, I'm not upset by the fact that he's happy with his life. I'm just upset that my life is going nowhere.

I think I'm going to move. I'm not sure where.
I need to go away.