Sunday, December 31, 2006
Here's hoping that my friend finally gets the break he deserves.
Here's hoping that the Cheese-guy rids himself of his loneliness instead of drowning himself in alcohol and drugs.
Here's hoping that S gets to lead her own life instead of living for her parents.
Here's hoping her parents find a life of their own and learn to let go.
Here's hoping the Peaceguy finally finds peace.
Here's hoping my sister gets to pursue her dream and becomes what she wants to be.
Here's hoping N won't be so bitter with life and gives happiness a chance.
Here's hoping I am less angry and more at peace with myself.
Here's hoping I find myself this new year.
Here's to hope.
Happy New Year
Friday, December 22, 2006
Umm... can I call you back granma?
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
the job. the cars. the people. the shoes. the roads. the nice policemen. the very convenient convenience stores at the gas stations. all those people from all the different countries i get to meet. the respect.. no.. the consideration they show to women. the access i have ( but i don't really do anything about it, so does that count?) to so many other places. the possibilities.
And what I don't.
the fact that i have to live with my parents. the lack of friends... the no-life life i lead.
So... will leaving be the biggest mistake of my life or will it be the best thing i (n)ever did?
Friday, December 15, 2006
Friday, December 08, 2006
And this happened on the day she went to get the car back from the mechanic. When she called me I was like... are you freakin kiddin me?!
But now I have no car.
What a fantastic start to the last month of the year!
Friday, December 01, 2006
The other day, in the middle of Emirates Rd., he started spouting steam and making weird hissing and sputtering noises. I checked the hot-cold thingy in the controls and it was at H!
I cut the engine and moved the car to the side of the road where it was sandy and … do you see where I’m going with this.... ?
So then, after refusing numerous offers from Arab guys who wanted ‘drop me home’ I called up my Iranian friend who came and rescued me from there and took me home. I had to wait for about 45mins for him to come and get me, but had enough entertainment to keep me from being bored.
I was standing out with the hood up and staring at the engine (what was I supposed to do!? I’m no mechanic!) and saw a 5-car collision happen riiight in front of me. No one was hurt or anything, just the nut in front hit the brakes or was going too slow or something and all the others behind him went BANG BANG BANG BANG!! Then the drivers all got out and looked sheepishly at each other…
Like I said… entertainment! *grin*
When Iranian guy finally arrived, we left Joe in the sand, cos the traffic was too bad and we wouldn’t have been able to pull him out then.
The next day, same friend (who is into off-roading in a serious way), took me back to where Joe was stuck and took out his 4 x 4 rescue kit to try and pull Joe out.
We went alllllll the way out to the middle of Emirates road and took a U-turn and came back to where Joe was and got out of the car and I realized…….go on, you know me well enough by now…. guess what I didn’t do….
I had forgotten my freaking keys!
So we had to go all the way back home, pick the damn keys up, and drive back and then try and pull Joe out. But Joe was stuck too deep and my friend's Jeep almost got stuck as well!
We finally ended up calling the Recovery guys to tow him out and now Joe is in the garage.
It’s time for Joe to retire.
And me too, if the traffic is gonna remain as crazy as it is. Or move somewhere closer to work!
Driving in dxb is dangerous! (I take this tunnel everyday everyday!)
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
(fyi, idiot not in pic, he's sitting inside and I hope to God he doesn't blog!)
Anyway, it was almost sunset by the time we set off again.
By the time we finally got to the campsite, it was pitch black and we had to rely on the bonfire and the headlights of the cars to pitch the tents (which was fuckin hard to do btw!)
We set up camp, got the bbq working, set up a bar on top of the cruiser, and I got totally wasted!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Work work work work!
Crazzzzzy unreasonable clients I was forced to be polite to, the added workload that was bestowed on me cos my senior quit to have a baby, the fact that she was having a baby, the knowledge that I was actually thankful for the added workload so that I'll be too busy to think about anything else, thinking in spite of the workload... it's been a helluva month.
I guess my body has finally given up on me.
The doc asked me one if I was under a lot of stress.
He gave me enough meds to last me a lifetime and told me I was to "stop thinking" for a bit. Cos it's psychosomatic apparently.
I woke up at 6 am today, but mum said you're not going to work like this no way so I got back to bed and tried to 'relax'. I tossed and turned and finally gave up trying to go back to sleep.
I tried to relax. Tried to 'not think'.
But this not-thinking business is really tough if you're not asleep.
I can think of only one thing that'll help me not think.
Alcohol of course!
Now I know why there are so many drunks in the world.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
I haven't mentioned what happened in the end. But I really don't feel like right now. But since it's out here already, I'm gonna let it be.
V and I were on our way to City Centre to catch a movie.
It was around 10. pm.
I was driving on the slow lane.
This crazy idiot on my left wanted to take the service lane on the right and he forced me onto the pavement hard. My tyre burst and the guy just ignored me and drove off.
Creep! I got his license plate number and saved it.
I called the cops but ( you will not believe this, but it's true!) no one answered!!
This is the first time the dxb police has completely disappointed me.
Anyway, there we were, two girls who knew nothing about changing tyres ( gimme a break, I've never done it before and they don't teach you in your driving classes) with a burst tyre on our hands. V called up a friend and he said he'll be with us in 15 mins or so.
This man who was passing by came up and offered to help. He was about 50 or so I guess. He told us he's from Iran. Iranian people are nice!
He changed the tyres for us. It's simple but it's hard work!
We just watched and stood around and talked.
Makes us sound like a couple of paris hiltons I know, but we're not really. We wanted to help, but didn't really know how, and he refused to be helped.
He just finished and said ok, you're done and we thanked him and thanked him and he said it's alright. and he drove off.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
FYI- Ajman and Ras al Khaimah are two different emirates (states) of the UAE.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
I took this while I was driving ( don't tell my mum) home from work. I was tired and thought I'd probably fall asleep so I stopped at an enoc and bought a red bull. Then I just started clicking pictures and completely forgot about the red bull till I got into the car again the next morning.
Took a lot of pics, but I kinda like this one. Reminds me of NFS.
I love driving. Fast.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
He's 6' 2"and HUGE. On one arm there's a scorpion tattoo and the other has a burning cross tattooed on it.
Oh, and he's a chain smoker.
The next day, I got a call from Delhi. It was my ex, the rebound boyfriend. He called me up cos he was watching Godfather III and thought of me!!!
He assures me that it wasn't Al Pacino, but something in the movie made him think of me! (he refused to tell me what exactly)
fyi, I haven't seen the damn movie, I've only watched the first one, I have the DVDs of the 2nd and 3rd, but haven't had the time to watch them. So I dunno what the hell this is about. But he was very sweet and seemed to miss me. So I'm guessing it wasn't one of the muscle bound killers.
Oh, and it doesn't end there.
A few hours ago, my first boyfriend, TC ( The Creep) calls me up cos he's getting married.
He's very christian-god fearing ( acc. to him, christians have a God alll to themselves, and that God is the right one! I'm tryin to figure out what the fuck I saw in him in the first place) , and wanted to ensure that I wouldn't "curse him". Wants my blessings.
So that's an update on my love-life, if anyone's interested.
Friday, October 06, 2006
First I was like, wtf! this female can't speak English! Then I was like, wtf! this female can't speak Hindi either! and THEN I realised, the woman just can't act! No idea of how to deliver dialogues, no idea of how to speak with emotion, nothing!
And the guy is just as bad. except he has a killllllller smile. and they make him smile a LOT! Everytime he smiles I turn away and go nononononooo don't smile like that! you're breaking my heart! ( btw, if the guy who was sitting next to me is reading this, well hi there! that was me! sorry about ruining the movie for you, but he does have a killer smile!)
But he's such a bad actor! And with immature crappy dialogues like I order you not to die, I ORDER you, and stuff like if you die I will kill you repeated twice or thrice (again, with no idea of dialogue delivery or emotion) and ooh! if there is no hope, we will INVENT it! (no kidding!) said in a slow, deliberate, absolutely emotionless tone.... who pays these people to make such bad movies?!
HOW is it that there are genuine people out there who are good at acting and good at making movies but idiots like these end up on the screen!?
It's a sad saaaad world!
And not just the movies.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
Always restless, always wanting things to happen now, cos hello! I'm ready.
I guess the Higher powers had other plans.
I guess that's why I'm being made to wait.
I'm being made to learn the art of patience.
That's fine. Cos I've finally understood that I do need to learn.
I've accepted it.
And that makes me feel a lot more calmer than I have in a long time.
All this time I've been praying to God to PLEASE make something happen.
To change the way things are.
Now, whenever I pray, I pray for patience.
It's not easy.
It's not easy to feel like praying for it.
But things are meant to happen at their own pace.
And I'm gonna try to be okay with it.
Waqt ne kiya, kya haseen sitam
Tum rahe na tum, hum rahe na hum
Waqt.... let's see.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
And I'm sick of it.
I've tried to stop, I really have.
But how can I stop thinking of you?
I was better off alone.
I never asked for you to come into my life. I never did anything.
It was you.
You started it all.
I wonder if you even remember.
I wonder if ever you go back and remember how it used to be.
We used to be able to talk so easily, and now the silence is just unbearable. for me.
I wish you would at least end it and let me be.
I never had you. So why do you have me, soul and all?
Let me go.
It's only fair.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
What was/is your reason to get married?
Now I've always felt that hardly annyone I know got married for love.
Most of the people I know got married for convenience.
The right age, parental pressure, dowry, money, broken heart (so instead of affair on the rebound it becomes a marriage on the rebound) etc etc.
There was this one lady who came on air who was hilarious.
Here's her explanation to why she got married:
I'm not very smart. I was not a very good student and my husband is a verrry intelligent man. I wanted my children to be smart, so when he asked me ( over the internet) whether I would "clean his house forever", I said yes. I hope my husband is not listening to this, cos when he asked me I told him I loved him! *laughs*
And now I have a daugther and I think she is very intelligent, so I am happy.
Well, I guess whatever works huh?!
There was this other guy who wanted to adopt babies and he wanted a mother for his children, so he went looking for a woman who would understand that he never wanted children of their own and that he wanted to get married solely to adopt! He found one, they got married and adopted a girl.
Apparently, they're very happy together.
What I cannot believe is that people out there with such weird requirements end up finding partners who fit the bill, and here I can't find one who wants to marry for the simplest reason of all. Love!
Although I must say, recently, I've had the good fortune of meeting a lot of couples ( young and old) who has gotten married for love. Most of the people I know from work got married for love. And it seems to be working out well for them too!
This colleague was telling me about how he met his wife in college. ( This was wayy back in the 80's.) He's from Iran btw.
She is a very good driver. And she was famous in college for her crazy driving.
I used to hate her then, but then I didn't know her. I was just jealous.
One day, I went up to her and challenged her to a race.
We started racing, and I knew she was going to win ( to all the men reading this, don't be skeptical. There are women out there who are really good drivers!)
So I cheated. I went over to the other side of the road... (At this point I'm thinking "Yeah right!" The other side, which means on a one-way road, he was travelling in the opposite direction! But you must remember, this was Iran in the 80's. It wasn't exactly Sheikh Zayed Rd. And he didn't sound like he was lying)
... and that's how I won. When she got out of the car, she told me I'm crazy, and I told her "Hey! I had to win!"
That's how we became friends. And now we've been together for what.. (he stops to count) 16 years now!
And from the smile on his face, I can make out that he's happy and still in love.
So no, it's not a Hollywood fabrication. It does exist apparently.
Since I'm talking about luhhve and matters of the heart, I'm gonna sign off with a song that has been driving me crazzzy ever since I first heard it in Bombay. I listen to it on endless loop allll the time I can, hum it throughout work and once even woke up with the song in my head and rushed to the computer to hear it first thing.
And NO, I'm not in love.
kyun aajkal neend kam khwaab jyada hai
lagta khuda ka koi nek iraada hain
kal ka fakir aaj dil shehzada hain
lagta khuda ka koi nek iraada hain
kya mujhe pyar hain...
I love these lines, the way he sings them.
... dekho jahaan mein neele neele aasmaan tale
rang naye naye hain jaise ghulte hue
soye the khwaab mere jaage tere waas-te
tere khayaalon se hai bheege mere raas-te
kya mujhe pyar hain...
Passion! I'm a sucker for it.
Monday, September 18, 2006
I miss not being able to share the little things.
Having someone to talk to about nothing in particular.
Arguing about books and stories and movies and all the rest of it.
Being held by the waist while walking.
Watching a movie together.
I miss being in love.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
It's funny, though I was staying with N the whole time, but we didn't really talk talk till the last day. That too, at 2 am.
Lots of tears and hugs later, we watched the climax scene of Raja which was playing on some channel. :o) Nothing like watching a crappy movie to make you feel better!
I also met the blogger Mr. Busybee on my last day there. (no that's not his id)
We met at Shopper's Stop. I was there early and was checking out some of the clothes when he came up. The guy thinks I'm fat .(He thought the kurta I chose was too small for me. Hmph!) :o(
He also said that I'm gonna have an extra-marital affair (apparently, he's an amateur palmist). I've been told (by others who've read my palm) that I will have two relationships in my life, and the second one will be the "intense" one.
This was told to me when I was seeing the rebound guy, and I was told that that relationship won't even show up on my palm cos it was of no consequence at all. (funny how that turned out to be right! )
So there's only one more love-of-my-life left.
Me! extra-marital affair! Hah! And here I'm doubting I'll even get married!
I was supposed to meet another blogger as well, but he couldn't make it to Bombay ( he was in Delhi at the time).
I went to Mahim Church on a Wednesday(which is the special day to go there) but I couldn't really pray. My heart just wasn't in it. But then I got back and realised what I really wanted to pray for.
I thought I'd go to the Haji Ali to make my wish (apparently, if you go there on a Friday and make a wish, it'll come true) . But that didn't happen either. So my wish is gonna have to wait till next time I guess.
I travelled on the local trains too. N took me to the station, made me get into one of the compartments that was pacccked with people, and while hanging on for dear life, she screams to me "you wanted to see Bombay right? This is Bombay! "
How do I explain?
How can I even begin to tell you how it feels? How can I explain the madness, the passion, the struggle for survival, the intensity of emotions... It has to be experienced.
You will be disgusted. You will be overwhelmed. You will be amazed.
But you just can't have enough of it.
There is nothing mild or understated about Bombay.
Love. Hate. Kill. Die. Live.
Life happens too fast to contemplate, to think, to even sit down and cry.
So I was pretty detached from the whole thing. You see, I kept my pace. N would take me to the station and she'd be hurrying to catch the train.
"N, slow down! What's the hurry?"
She looks back at me and says "Look around you. How can you not hurry?!"
Bombay happened in a haze. As did Pune.
I didn't want to leave.
No, actually, I didn't want to come back here.
But back I am. I'm already waiting for my next trip to India.
And maybe next time, it might be a one-way ticket. (and God, if you're listening, it should be on my terms pliss! Not like I'm being deported for flipping off the sheikh or anything! )
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Yeah. She (the friend I'm gonna be staying with) called me up to wish me a happy birthday (oh yeah, it was my b'day on the 20th. it deserves a whole diff post altogether, but there's just so much happening!), and tells me she's got this whole Pune trip planned out.
So, of the 9 days I'm gonna be in India, I'm gonna be in Pune for two!
Everyone at work has been telling me about alllllll the millions of places I should go to in Bombay and Pune. Where I can get the best-vada-pao-in-the-world and everything else is all swirling around my head vying for attention. Don't remember any of them other than something that sounded like Catering College?! (I'm sure I got that wrong, the guy who told me has a weird accent.)
I still haven't packed. Although I have finished shopping. (yay!)
It's 5 past midnight. I need to pack before I sleep. And I'm sitting here and blogging!
I will hopefully not be posting from Bombay.
So bye for now.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
I leave in two days. Actually, today is almost over, so I really have just ONE day left before I leave.
Now I know what Harry Potter felt like when he refused to pack even though Prof. Dumbledore wrote and asked him to be ready to leave the Dursleys' house by midnight.
I cannot believe that I'm actually leaving. I haven't even bought the shampoo(of all the things! :o) ) my friend asked me to get her!
My ticket's for the 24th. Confirmed and everything. I called and re-checked and showed my ticket to several people at work to make sure it was ok.
I leave on Thursday...
No OMGAWWDs or FUCCCCKIMACTUALLYGOING or anything.
I'm not feeling a thing.
Could be cos I'm worried about all the bomb threats and bad weather and everything that I figure something will stop me from going.
Or maybe it's something else ( which I won't get into).
Whatever it is... I'm just keeping my fingers crossed and wishing I had the will to pray. Hopefully it'll come to me.
PS: Last time I used that title (in my old blog)was over a year back, when I was leaving Delhi to come here, to Dxb.
So much has changed since! And yet, so little.
Monday, August 21, 2006
You think you know what to expect and what not to.
And then, life takes you so completely by surprise...
Just goes to say... you're better off not expecting.
Then you won't be so disappointed.
And you'll be grateful for the unexpected.
Friday, August 18, 2006
What a stupid optimistic fool i am!
Pretending like it didn't matter, everything's "fine".
It really isn't anyone's fault.
me. That's where the problem lies.
Always wanting, hoping, wishing... when clearly, none of those were meant for me!
You'd think i'd have learnt my lesson by now!
But the heart. it can't be helped.
Some things were just meant to be.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Sun… (means listen in Hindi)
Mehendi on Tuesday evening..
Pitti, my place.. on Wednesday. (Somebody please tell me what Pitti is. He went on about some egg fight??!!)
Nikah on Thursday. Around 7 ish- 8.
Reception on Friday.
I've never been to a North Indian wedding before! I'm so excited!
Err... he was kidding about the egg fight, right?!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Dad, I don't like him.
(I don't like anybody who tells me that my mother is right about the fact that this is the right time for me to get married cos otherwise I "will be in trouble" and that "we are Indians, moreover Keralites", and that we are "bound by our culture".
He is educated, good looking, and working as a researcher in Germany. What else do you want?
(Someone who doesn't think that I am bound by my culture perhaps? ) I don't like him daddy, I don't want to get married to him.
What are your intentions? I'm grwing old, I'm sick of people asking me why you are not getting married... you know the drill.
God help me!
Sunday, July 30, 2006
The main one being that I haven't yet told my folks about it!
If they knew I was spending this much money in a week to "take a break", especially to a place where hundreds of people only recently died of bomb attacks by terrorists, they would probably lock me up and throw away the key!
I've been advised to tell that I'm going on a business trip. Which is pretty believable since I actually deal with the Indian subcontinent as far as work is concerned.
But I suck at lying to mum.
She gives me 'the Look' that all Mums seem to be so good at, the one that makes you feel like every single thought in your head is written in Bold Arial size 72 on your face! :o(
I just give up and end up telling her the truth usually.
But then I imagine telling them the truth and I can see my mum's face break into tears and my dad going all stony faced and angry... followed by them yelling that I will do "no such thing".
On how I am a Keralite and a girl and why can't I be more like other girls and get married to the nice researcher in Germany ( who is boring as hell, trust me!)
That's just the parents.
Bombay itself, is proving to be tricky.
Ah well, one problem at a time I guess.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
She's a Muslim and she's in love with a Hindu guy.
Her parents don't approve. ( of course! So what else is new!)
She's 25 years old, and the man she's in love with is 27. They're both working, and they're both of sound mind and body and perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.
But they can't marry unless her parents agree.
Cos of the law. Indian law.
Apparently, as long as a person is an NRI and under the sponsership of his or her parents, then they will require a no-objection letter of the parents in order to get married. Even if they are in India.
The guy in question is under his employer's sponsership, but the girl is sponsered by her father. (fyi, the guy's parents are actually okay with the girl and have actually agreed to try and talk to her parents to get them to agree. But her parents aren't exactly the kind who'll listen.)
She cannot change her sponsership unless her present sponser (her father) agrees to it.
So she's stuck and has no idea what to do.
Did I mention her parents have hidden her passport?
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
You just know you are.
It's like your subconscious state of mind understands what is wrong and you react emotionally to it, but you're not really aware what it is that upsets you so much till much later.
It's like that for me now.
I'm confused and upset and close to freaking out.
I need to clear my head. and the only one I know who can make sense and calm me down is my N, my best friend.
So I've decided.
I'm going to India, for a verrrry short break. But a break, nonetheless.
And till then, I'll just keep praying.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Saturday, July 08, 2006
And there's nothing I can do about it other than refuse to serve him tea (or any other beverage).
I've had a million fights with my mum about this of course.
It's become a routine now, she starts talking about a guy who seems "marriage material" and I get irritated and then we're off.
" Ma will you please leave me alone. I can make my own decisions."
"You're not getting any younger, ALL of your friends are married and some even have kids. What about you? How do you plan on living by yourself? You'll be singled out, you'll be all alone. You can't live like that, what will I tell everyone else when they ask me why you're still single, it is unheard of in our family, I cannot bear to talk to anyone now, everyone is asking me why I'm not getting you married off... "
I'm a disgrace to my family. Being 25 and unmarried is the worst thing that could happen to a girl apprently.
I've explained it to her a million times already! I can't do this.
But she still nags, worries and keeps surfing matrimonial sites.
And now they want me to meet this guy tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO MEET ANYONE LIKE THIS!
I can't explain why, cos I know that a lot of people meet this way and get married and they're fine or whatever. But when anyone tries to set me up like this, it depresses me.
I know that "everyone else does it"and that "it's not such a big deal" but it IS a big deal for ME.
Cos this is not what I want. I'm not really sure what I want, but it's not this.
I'm feeling irritated, worried, angry, alone, and so damn depressed.
I need a break. I neeed to take a break off of all this and just get up and go somewhere where my parents won't keep nagging me like this. I need to clear my head a bit.
I think I'm gonna ask my boss for a week off and go to India and be with my friends.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
But I happened to listen to this show on the radio where they have weekly horoscopes and predictions based on numerology. Apparently, this is a turbulent time for everyone in general and a lot of expect the unexpected-ness could be expected.
They also proved how, numerologically, Brazil should win the world cup this year.
So gullible me ( see this is why I steer clear of astrology, I believe too easily!) ended up betting with my dad (who is a football freak) and now I need to treat my family to lunch at Chili's.
If this is the beginning of this unexpected and turbulent month, then I'm screwed!
Friday, June 30, 2006
But now, the blog seems to not want me back.
I had put all my posts in draft mode, but now... they've all disappeared. I've got NOTHING in my list. More than a 100 odd posts and now there's nothing left. It's gotten deleted somehow.
I've been blogging since July 2003, it's been 3 years, and now I have nothing left.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
And she insists on dragging me and dad along all the time. Now dad grumbles a lot and manages to get out of it most of the time, but if I say something, she’ll start blackmailing me with how she’s not there just to cook and clean, she needs love and furniture-shopping-companion too!
It’s usually just easier (on my nerves) to go along with her.
It was my mum’s birthday on the 11th.
Last time we’d gone to Ikea, we saw this sofa, and she said she liked it, but she thought it too expensive.
So I thought I’d get that one for her birthday as a surprise. Not only would she get her sofa, I’d never have to go sofa shopping again for a long time! Two birds with one stone and all that!
So I went off by myself (on the evening of the 10th), bought the sofa (2 + 3 seater), lugged it back home, assembled the two seater and showed it to her, and she didn’t like it! (She also didn’t remember ever having seen it before) Of course she didn’t say it out straight that she didn’t like it! She hemmed and hawed about how it was too light and would get dirty soon, and about how the arm rest was a “bit too thin” and stuff.
Then she suggested returning it.
Sigh! Returning it would be such a pain! But I had no choice.
The next day, I called up Ikea, and they told me that they cannot take anything that’s been assembled, but they’re willing to take back the ones we didn’t open.
But my mum wudn’t listen (apparently, a bazillion years ago the neighbours had been able to return something that they bought from Ikea. So the policies should remain the SAME of course, and they “would surely take it back since we bought it just yesterday!”)
So her bday was spent lugging the sofas back to Ikea and pleading with them to take back the 2 seater as well.
Obviously Ikea, just like on the phone, apologized a lot but did not take it back.
And mum was okay with that! Cos otherwise, she’d had “kept thinking that they would have taken it back if only we’d tried"
She’s my mum and I love her,sure.
But she drives me crazzzzzzzy!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Friday, June 02, 2006
It was just 6 am.
I tried singing it.
Then I felt like I needed to hear it RIGHT THEN!
So I went online and got the song and played it on endless loop for hours.
tere naam se jee loon
tere naam se marr jaaun
teri jaan ke sadke mein kuchh aaisa kar jaaun
tune kya kar dala marr gayi main mitt gayi main ho ri ha ri ho gayi main
Sighhhhh!! How beautiful is that huh!
I cannot even begin to describe what I feel when I hear this song.
It is so overwhelming, the feeling that washes over me.... it reinforces my faith in all that I believe in.
It makes me happy and sad and gives me hope and makes me feel helpless all at the same time.
Somebody hand me a margarita!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
I had a pretty...err... eventful day.
I had an accident on the Emirates Road.
Now whoever lives in the UAE will know that this road is one of the worst roads ever for anyone to have an accident. The only other road which can compare is the Shk Zayed Rd. The accidents that take place here (in dubai) are so bad that they actually have a dedicated column in the papers called "Crash of the Week" where they write about how many people have died so far this year and show a pic of the worst crash of the week. Most of them take place on these two roads.
That's Dubai for you!
The Land of Accidents.
So I guess I was lucky that nothing serious happened.
It was my mistake, and it was such a stupid mistake that I'm not gonna tell you how it happened. and NO, I was not speeding!
(excuse me a min, this is for the person who knows how it happened. STOP GRINNING!)
ok, where were we?
Ah yes, stuck on the Emirates Rd. I hit this minibus containing a load of men on their way to the airport. They were very sweet about it even though I was such a dumbass.
I kept apologizing and they said "no worries madam, it's ok, it happens..." !!!
I called the cops. They came soon enough and smiled at me ( policemen here are real polite)
"How are you today ?"
me:(smiling and putting on best helpless-weak-woman look) : Not so good officer!
Police: what happened? Are you okay?
Me: I feel so stupid officer, you won't believe what I did. I... ( no. I really won't tell you)
police( grinning and thoroughly enjoying themselves) : oh don't worry, it happens to a lot of people.
My car was kinda damaged though the bus was fine. The radiator broke and there was coolant all over the place.
The police apologized (several times) for having to fine me ( honest!) and they said it was part of the procedure. They were very helpful, they called a tow truck and arranged to have someone come and pick up the car. The bus left. The police stood there awhile, and then I got tired of acting helpless so I told them I'll be fine and they left.
My manager lives close to my place, so he picked me up on his way back and I got home about two and a half hours late feeling extremely tired and drained out.
Standing there waiting for the tow-truck and my manager to come was the most awful part.
Cos this is the highway, nothing but desert on all sides and vehicles zooming by at 140 kmph.
At one point of time, this land cruiser came and stopped a few feet away from me and asked me if I needed help. I just shook my head and prayed that they would just leave! Thankfully, they left. Dubai isn't as safe as it portrays itself to be.
Joe ( my car) is gonna be out of action for a few days.
So my weekend is ruined as well. I've got two tickets to the 101.6 ( local radio station) ka Wild Wadi party tomm night. I have no way to get there and no one to go with anyway.
Sigh! what a sad turn of events!
But seriously though, I'm only thankful that things were so much better than it could have been.
I'm lucky I guess, in a weird sorta way.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
I didn't go to office today, had to attend a training in DIC ( dubai internet city) at our vendor's office. It was the worst, most boring presentation ever! Staying awake has never been so tough.
And I have another crap thing to attend tomm too. Sigh! I'll be at the Marriot all day. I hope the food is better there than at the DIC. They had the crappiest food! Stuffed vine leaves sound exotic, and taste like .... I dunno, neem leaves or something. Judging by the look of the people around me, I'm sure I must have made some weird faces while trying to eat it. They had a load of other crap too. It's nothing to blog about.
I hate these affairs where people pretend to listen to bigwigs speak about the most boring things in the world while all everyone else seems to be bothered only about 'networking' and creating new 'contacts'. Everyone excluding me of course. I, being the absent-minded genius that I am, left my business cards safely in my drawer at work right next to this cute little beanie and a pack of stapler pins. So I grinned sheepishly and carried around a wad of tissues to write my number down.
Errr, that last bit isn't true of course.
Anyway, it's late, and I have a full day tomorrow since I have to go to work again after the marriot thing. I hope the presentation isn't gonna be as boring as it was today!
Wish I could buy those Puking Pastilles I read about in Harry Potter somewhere!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
1. August 18th - family friend and school mate's wedding.
2. August 20th- College friend's marriage
Also August 20th- I turn 25. ( I doubt my family will celebrate)
3. Auguest 29th- Another college friend's marriage
4. Sept sometime- ex-boyfriend plans to elope with his girlfriend. (No, I'm not going for this one)
4. Dec sometime - family friend's marriage who is a year younger to me.
Dunno if i'll have to add onto that, but the way things are going, I may not have a single friend left. Oh wait, I don't! (online friends don't count, I can't point at their IM window and tell my mum, see, HE'S still not married!)
It's kinda depressing when your parents look at like you like an unfinished chore.
But what am I supposed to do huh?
My mum comes up to me and says "5"8, software engineer, UK-based, salary- $$$% p.a., mum - retired lecturer, dad- banker, are you interested?"
What the hell am I supposed to say to that huh?
If someone tells me "your time will come" or some such shit I'll ...I'll... I dunno, scream with frustration (again) I guess.
I mean, this state of not being married is not a disease you know.
But with the way everyone's going on about it, it's completely depressing.
It's not like I don't wanna get married, I do!
But for the right reasons ( like love).
But cos everyone round me is running round tying the knot, I'm feeling all left out and depressed and I'm beginning to feel like everyone else is right, that there won't be ( worse, there isn't) anyone who would wanna marry me.
God! What the fuck is gonna happen to me?!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Of course, things aren’t easy. But that’s life ain’t it?
Nobody said it was gonna be easy.
And you’re fine, really!
You’ve made your mistakes and hopefully learnt your lessons.
Pure pure joy in the beginning- joy, hope, and love; followed by inconsolable grief, anger, bitterness…
Is it all worth-it?
Some say it is.
They say it’s better to have loved and lost.
As time goes by the hatred turns to bitterness, then you learn to accept. The memories don’t hurt so much anymore.
They say if you haven’t loved, then you haven’t lived.
So tell me then- is this life?
This… semblance of normalcy that fools you for some time, until that thin veil of self-deceit breaks.
Broken by the simplest of things.
Like hearing a silly song on the radio that make your eyes brim with tears all over again.
The tears that was supposed to have already fallen.
Didn’t you think he wasn’t worth crying for?
Oh but he isn’t.
You don’t care about him. (thank God for small mercies)
It’s not him that you’re crying for.
For the hope that has died. For the cynicism that has taken its place.
For the trust that has been broken.
For the person you have become.
But it’s all good.
You go on, telling yourself that it’s all a test.
The heart is broken, but the spirit lives on.
But why though?
That’s what I wanna know.
Someone tell me why. Cos I’m tired of waiting for an answer.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
P: So Sonia, are you married?
P: Ah, so you can join R in the man-hunt. She’s unmarried too!
Me: Err… you have to hunt?
P: Of course, gone are the days when proposals come raining down. Now, a person will have to hunt for a partner.
Me: I don’t want to.
P: Why not?
Me: Not interested.
P: Why, scared of the responsibility of family life, of having kids and being responsible?
Me: No, not interested in “hunting”.
Someone please tell me what he said is not true!
I’m not a hunter and can never be one.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
There is just too much happening.
I guess mainly, two things have happend.
One- I got a new job.
Two- I quit my old job.
This second one will obviously follow the first, but it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. Not because I liked my old job or the people there, but because I loathed them!
I hated my manager, she was a cunning, exploiting B****. And being civil to her everyday for 8 hours was wearing me down.
And quitting on a good note was VERY tough. I smiled till the very end, and so did she ( to her credit) but it was all very nerve-racking and exhausting. So thank God that's over!
I have till the 20th before I start with my new job.
I guess I should be happy. But I'm not really.
I was relieved when I got the job. Cos that meant i could quit the old job. But this new one is a very good job.
Which is good.
But I'm scared really.
I have a week till I join the new job. So you can say that I'm on a vacation of sorts. And I want to go to India. I want to see my friends and visit all the places I used to frequent.
But of course, my parents won't let me go.
And that is what scares me. I've got this terrific new job. Which means I'm kinda settling down here. Here, in Dubai, where I can't go anywhere without getting "premission" from my parents. Here, in this gold cage of sorts.
I've lost my freedom. And I don't see anything I can do to get it back, short of getting married. And really, that's not a reason to get married is it?
I feel all alone.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
But it's steady money.
I feel brain dead.
If you quit, where would you go every morning?
I could look for another job.
What other job? It's not easy to get a job in Dubai.
I did it once, I can do it again.
But if you quit without having another job in hand, how long will you be able to survive without money?
I dunno. No more movies or long drives or shopping or going out at ALL I guess.
But I hate working here. It's so frustrating to waste 8 hours of my life here everyday. not mentioning the 2 hours I spend in commute.
What makes you think that you'll get a job you like if you quit this one? How can you be sure that your next job won't be worse than this one?
Does that mean I shouldn't even try?
Try, but don't quit until you have something else in hand.
But I won't really start looking unless i have the fear of unemployment and possible dependency on Dad to push me.
Look at it this way: You could get fired anyday!
Where's the Appointments section?
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Dubai just can't handle rain.
It wasn't even heavy rain or anything.
Just nice, steady rhythmic rain.
The kind you want to listen to and fall asleep (and wake up) to. The kind you want to look at while you take your eyes off your book for a minute to take a sip of coffee.The kind of rain where you wanna walk hand-in-hand with Someone and get wet in.
That kind of rain. The kind I absolutely LOVE!
Of course, I couldn’t enjoy it cos I had to wake up and go to work. I woke up at 7, gave my friend a miss-call ( cos I'm his temporary alarm clock, otherwise he won't bother waking up and going to class!) and bec it was raining, I thought I might as well get up, cos the traffic ( which is horrible at the best of times) is gonna be pretty darn impassable today. I left the house with an hour to spare. The ride to office takes about 15-20 mins when there’s no traffic, and about half an hour if you’re experienced enough to deal with the traffic in Dubai roads (which I AM).
But like I said, Dubai has no idea what to do when it rains. The people drive way too fast (as always) and then when they hit the brakes, they skid and hit other cars and then there’s collision after collision and of course, MAJOR traffic jams.
I was just 5 mins on the road when I passed an accident where two land cruisers had collided head-on. The police were scratching their heads trying to figure out how a car that should be traveling in one direction (it’s a one-way road) managed to turn 180 degrees and hit the other car!
I got stuck half-way to the shindaga tunnel and heard (too late) on the radio that the tunnel was blocked cos of a 9-vehicle collision. So then I turned left, then right, and promptly got lost!
It didn’t matter anyway, cos the traffic was bad everywhere. People kept calling up the radio and advising everyone to just give up and go home!
I finally got to work an hour and a half late.
Things were stormier inside the office than outside! :o(
So as I was saying...
It rained in Dubai and it shouldn't have!
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
That blog was written mostly when I was in India. I was reading through some of my posts then and I find a sense of humour in them which, I feel, is somehow sadly lacking in my posts now.
While before I used to post about everything, now I post only when I'm feeling low.
There is more to my life than constantly being depressed and worrying about dumb ex-boyfriends or my imminent marriage to God-knows-who you know!
In fact, my New Year's resolution was ( still is) to Do things I've never done before.
Which has worked very well!
I tried bowling (I'm becoming real good at it too!), and ice skating ( loads of fun!). I've made a new friend, gone out to loads of new places, eaten new things from new places, read loads of books ( currently reading Desperately Seeking Paradise and The Calvin and Hobbes 10th Anniversary Book) even bought a new cell phone, and done all sorts of things which in India, would have inspired me to write a dozen new posts at least.
But somehow, I never seem to blog about the funny things anymore. I only seem to whine and crib or cry in this blog! I'm going to have to change that! When I go through this blog, in most of the posts I come across ( to myself) as such a sad person!
I'm not really! Ask my friends! ( If any of my friends reading this disagree, shut up and DON'T comment!)
Just you wait! Life's good you know. And I'll tell you about it too!
Monday, January 30, 2006
I tried. Can't do it.
I can't even bring myself to dress up in a sari and take a photo. Forget dressing up and getting married!
Arranged marriages are great maybe, but they're not for me.
I was plotting my escape before I even realised it.
I can go back to Delhi. I'm a smart, hard-working person and I have friends who can help me out. So I can get a job there. I'll leave.
I'm feeling so much better now that I've decided.
I'll tell them nicely to leave me alone as far as marriage is concerned.
If they don't listen, then I'll leave.
But I don't wanna leave really. Not yet.
I want to be with my sister for awhile.
I left when she was 10, and now she's 17. We've just begun to get to know each other and love each other again. I want to be there for her.
And I'm just beginning to discover a Dubai that I hadn't even known existed. I want to see more of that. I was living a protected life here, knowing nothing and consequently, learning nothing.
But now it's different, and I like it.
I will leave if I have to.
I just hope it doesn't come to that.
Monday, January 23, 2006
About me, and him, and Us, and Them.
I miss listening.
Listening to someone so that you understand them, understand the way they think, and feel.
Listening to them talking about their childhood, how they grew up to be who they are right now.
I miss feeling.
Feeling the warmth of a hug that comes from inside.
Feeling of belonging I used to feel when he used to hold me by the waist when we went for walks.
I miss... Love.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
This year though, for the first time, I felt I needed to actively do something to change and make my life better.
What with the heart-break-all-over-again and no freedom and no friends and pretty pathetic life of the last year, I needed to do something drastic.
So I resolved...
To do things I've never done before.
So far, this resolution has gone pretty well.
I've gone bowling, which, believe it or not, I hadn't tried till now! LOADS of fun! threw a lot of gutter balls in the beginning, but I'm getting pretty good at it!
Then I tried ice-skating. Now I already knew how to roller-skate, so I didn't fall down or anything. But although I could easily skate from one end of the rink to the other, I had a bit of trouble stopping! When I wanted to stop, somehow I just kept going round and round in circles and felt like I was gonna fall . so then I flapped my arms around like a dumb chicken and finally hit the edge of the rink and stopped! Not exactly graceful, but whatever works right?!
My sister considers herself to be a more experienced ice-skater than me, having done it exactly ONE time more than me ( which makes it TWO times altogether!). So she kept advising me on how to skate. But I already knew how to skate, I wanted to know how to stop, and she said "Chech, in the end you'll stop anyway!"
Some teacher huh?
Anyway, this guy at the rink showed me how to stop, but I still haven't mastered the T thing just yet.
Also ate from loads of new places. Dome Cafe has crap cold coffee! Made me miss Barista in Delhi! But AWESOME blueberry cheesecake! It simply melts in your mouth! Each bite was like little of bursts of sunshiny-happiness!
Also had a sip of pina colada from Seville's which tasted quite good. But since I was driving and all, I just restricted myself to one sip! Settled for lip-smacking mocktail. But I don't remember the name, some weird spanish thing. Cheesecake was disappointing. Food was pretty good.
Also ate from The Rupee Room at the Dubai Marina. Crap food! definitely not worth the charges. Don't go there.
Watched a lot of movies too. Noteworthy among them being Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and The Constant Gardener. Constant Gardener is a must-see kinda movie. Depressing though.
Kiss -Band has a story is as weak as the tea I used to get at my college-hostel, but the screen play is cool and the jokes are really funny AND witty!
But kinda macabre. There was this one scene (won't tell you which one and spoil the fun) where everyone in the cinema hall went Eeeeaaaargh!
Also got myself a LOT of books.