Wednesday, August 31, 2005


There was something different about him, the way he looked. His skin was porcelain white and he was dressed impeccably. Grey over coat, white shirt, grey pants, no tie though.

He moved quickly, with a purpose. He was dangerous, I could feel it. I kept my eyes on him even though I was meeting all my old classmates from school after a long time. They (my old classmates) were oblivious to anything and everything that was happening around them. Typical.

But he, he noticed everything. He was looking for a way out of the mall, and quick. He could feel the eyes of the police on him. A sniper-policeman. Is that what they're called? That’s what came to my mind when I saw the police aiming at him from the top of the escalator. Were they crazy?? Thousands of people around and that dumb policeman or sniper or whatever was aiming to get one guy?

The police shot, and missed. The man started running. He was almost at the exit and I was right in front of him when the policeman caught him from behind. The policeman wrapped his arms around the man to prevent him from escaping. He struggled to free himself. The policeman caught hold of the lapels of his coat and pulled it, as if he was trying to remove the coat.

And then, right in front of my eyes, the man's skin tore, as if he was made of cloth, right from the forehead down to his chest. He roared, with anger, and pain, and hatred. And then everything stopped. The last thing I saw was him, with his face frozen in rage, skin(?) split from the forehead down to his chest, and dried blood beneath it.
I couldn't bear it. I looked away, and opened my eyes.

Why the fuck do I get dreams like these?

Monday, August 29, 2005


He's the new love of my life!
My Rav4!


Can't stop smiling!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Choose NOW!

I'd really like a Rav4 , but everyone keeps telling me to choose a small car since this is my first time driving in Dubai( or anywhere, for that matter), So when I choose a VW Beetle, why do they still have problems? So what if there is no resale value? I'm looking the prices now, and they seem steep enuff. And who says I wanna sell it anyway?

And marriage! Why do they keep asking me what kind of guy I want? I DON'T KNOW DAMMIT!! I'm so bloody confused about a car, how the heck can I decide whom I should be spending the rest of my life with?!

"Time is running out" they say, and that scares me.

"You'll end up alone and lonely." I am already, and I hate it.

I don't know what my choices are anymore. Don't know if I ever had any. maybe it's like Mulder once said, "You realise the choices you had in life were already made"

I'm freaking out!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I'm Afraid

Hope gives you wings to fly, while Fate sits in the dark, laughing, biding His time.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

God of Small Things.... THANK YOU!!

Ate the best cheese croissant ever at Costa in City Centre!
It’s absolutely, amazingly Oh-my-GAWD Deeelicious!

The croissant was warm and cut length-wise and the cheese put in-between like a sandwich with a sprinkling of cheddar on top. Cheese and croissant just melt in your mouth.

The view of the Emirates Towers and the creek, coupled with a cold cappuccino and excellent conversation with an old friend… the best weekend ever!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

HUMara FM?

I had to work late yesterday. So when I got off work, it was too late to catch the bus, otherwise I'd end up getting home really late. So I hailed a cab. The driver was a Pakistani guy.

Now, I have nothing against any country in particular, or people, or religion. I've had the most wonderful conversations with Pakistani and well as Indian taxi drivers. I always found it interesting to hear about life from another perspective than just my little existance, which kinda explains my addiction to blogging. Anyway, this guy, was different.

I asked this guy to swtich on the radio, so he put hum fm ( one of the stations here). Then after some time, the Azan started playing. Now I have nothing against Islam. It's just another religion. I feel the same way about mine.I respect Islam just as much as I do Hinduism and Christianity, or any other religion. Cos in the end, its the person that matters na?

No offense, but I really didn't wanna listen to the Azan at the time. So I asked him to change the channel. He refused! I thought I should let it go, it's his religion and he wanted to listen to the prayer, so that's ok. I started listening to the radio on my cell phone. But the volume in the car was way too high for me to listen to my cell-radio. So I asked him to please reduce the volume. He refused!

Can you believe it?!!!!

The asshole started preaching, about how he is a Muslim and even if the shiekh came and asked him to switch it off he wouldn't and how can I listen to music, but not listen to the azan, that the person who was speaking was holy and blah blah....

I got so damn angry! I had hired the cab and the radio is for ME to listen to. If he wants to listen to something, that's fne, but not when he is working, not when I had hired him! I have to pay 25 bloody bucks to get from here to there as opposed to the 2.50 I usually pay on the bus, and I HAVE the choice to listen to whatever I wanted to. That's what the damn radio was there for! For the passengers!

Now my Hindi is pretty bad at the best of times, but when I'm angry, the only language that comes to me is English, and this asshole did not understand it! Arrrrrgggh!

I told him to shut up and he wouldn't, obviously, so we both yelled at each other and the Azan got over by the time. ( How ironic is that?) But we still kept yelling. It was so frustrating! He said if I told him to shut up he would stop the car and I could get the hell out. I told him no way is he gonna do that in the middle of the highway where there was no chance of me getting another taxi, I would not pay him, and to take me to the police station. And he said fine, but he didn't obviously. He took me home. And I paid him. And that was that.

All this ... for what? For asking him to reduce the volume? Is that an insult to ANY religion? When I was in Delhi, there used to be people ( hindu people) who used to sing religious songs on the loudspeaker ALL NIGHT LONG, and they did NOT sound anything like Udit Narayan and Alka Yagnik! I used to get so damn bugged. That happens in Kerala too. And my house is right next to the temple! So during festivals, I could pretty much say adios to my eardrums.

Do whatever you want, but why impose it on someone else? If I played nickelback LOUD all night long, won't they complain? Course they will. Suppose I sang all night long? hah!

What happened to respect & tolerance? Was it ever really there?

Sigh! Such a waste of emotion.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

shifting sands

My favourite time of day these days is my bus-ride back to the house after work. I work split shifts, so I get off work around 7: 30, and there are not too many people in the bus at the time.

The bus is cooler than in the morning, and Dubai looks lovely. All black and shimmering lights, almost surreal. I listen to the radio and the songs remind me of ... everything! I feel sad sometimes, and sometimes happy, but mostly just peaceful.

I'm busier than ever, and its becoming harder to find the time to blog. But it seems like I have more to say than ever before. The bus rides give me a lot of time to think and feel. And the music makes me feel like I may be capable of falling in love in spite of everything.
I'm doing the same things everyday, and yet, life has never felt so uncertain.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

The Week so Far...

* Major bad weather in Dubai, all dust and sandstorms. Consequently, I now have a nose that resembles Rudolph, and it feels like a blacksmith has put up shop in my head.

* I'm in charge of this major project at work which is worth about 7 million Dhs, (out of which I probably get nothing, but watever!) and its like I'm suddenly been asked to be a grownup!

I'm lost! Somebody help me! I'm just a kid with a degree! Nobody told me it would be like this!

* And the silver lining ........ I got my driver's license!!!
Although there are a lot of sceptics out there who doubt my ability to drive ! Here's a part of the conversation I had with my friend.

Me: Hey! I got my license!!!
Him(with evil smirk) : License to kill? lol!

Well, what does he know!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Damn Feelings!

Ok, I've tried! But I just gotta blog! I think I'm addicted!

Dunno how people just quit!

Its no big deal anyway. That last post I mean. I was just so worked up with the comments, and I didn't even know what I was typing till I was done. So that was that.

I was in a crappy relationship, like a lot of people have been through I'm sure. And I learned a lot. And I'm glad it brought me to Delhi,and blogging and everything else.

I went through a lot of soul searching and found... nothing really!

Hell, what do I know!? There I am, 23 years old, living alone in the big bad world, what do I do? I learn to survive.

That's it actually.

I can't say I don't regret it. I do, I really do!

Cos I have never been in love with anyone as much as I have been with him. And I've never felt that way for anyone since, and I'm scared I never will. I had trusted him, and our relationship, so completely! I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that again.

Oh well, there's always hope right? After all, tomorrow is another day...


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Too much!

I get the feeling I've spoken too much.

So I'm just gonna shut up for a while now.

(Terminator soundtrack in the background)
I'll be back!

Take care!