Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
The ones above were taken at a place called Formentor in Mallorca (Spain).
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
People like to read it cos there's always a happy ending?
I can't read them!
They're completely unoriginal (which is a sort of a given) and so boring!
I know how it's going to end, so I have no patience for the soppy heroine who's wondering if she'll have her "happily ever after". I can't empathize. And it's not even like a good chick-flick movie where there's some comedy or at least a good pair of shoes to lust after, if nothing else!
Give me a Walk in the Woods with Bill Bryson anyday(hilaaaarious!).
Why am I talking about this suddenly?
I went to the Magrudy's warehouse sale yesterday, a half hour before it closed, and was frantically looking around for books and ended up with 2 lonely planets (for 5bucks a piece! :D ) and 3 other random books, out of which one is a chick-lit that somehow irritates me no end!
Chick-lits aren't as bad as Mills and Boons. They're usually quite funny. But this one is just buggin! I feel like telling the author to just GROW UP, live a little, get some real problems, then maybe attempt to write!
Anyway...maybe it's just me! So I'm gonna dump this book! ASAP! So if anyone sees a brand-new Mrs.zhivago of Queen's Park just lying around a coffee-shop or something... you're welcome to it!
I'm off to the sale again today, I'm going to get a few more lonely planets and see what else I can scavenge!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
It's a sonogram.
She's pregnant and he's beaming with happiness.
Everyone's shocked and overjoyed and hugging the girl and shaking hands, making cracks about getting old and having babies and midnight cravings and labour rooms and whatnot. I'm so excited and happy for her, for them.
Of course, the moment was bitter-sweet.
We're all growing up now. We won't be able to take off to Spain, or even a movie, at a moment's notice anymore. Priorities change, life happens, as it should!
The whole scene today, the atmosphere at the ice-cream parlour, everyone's general bonhomie... I just want to capture moments like these. And hope that I too, some day, may have a day like this. I realize now that I don't want anything very extraordinary out of life.
Love, marriage, babies, friendship... that's not too bad is it? Or is it too much to ask for?
I guess I'll worry about it another day.
Friday, September 25, 2009
So, instead of moping around, I thought I'd do something interesting.
I've volunteered for MEIFF. I hope to do something different, meet new people, have some fun...
a little change is always for the better, right?!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I told her " N! J is a dad!" and she said " So?" and instantly I felt better.
And I got to thinking about things and realized that I don't have any regrets regarding any of my relationships. Even the one that I'm not in now (it's complicated). And I don't even for a second regret the fact that I did not get married to any of the people my parents wanted me to.
I know of people who were "coaxed" into marriage by their parents thinking that they were doing the right thing. And everytime I feel bad about being alone, I think about these people I know who have miserable married lives and pull their marriage certificate over their eyes to convince themselves they are not as alone as I am.
Well, at least I have hope!
Monday, September 14, 2009
He wanted to let me know that he's become a dad.
I have no words to describe what I feel right now.
I don't love him, I'm not upset by the fact that he's happy with his life. I'm just upset that my life is going nowhere.
I think I'm going to move. I'm not sure where.
I need to go away.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Ok, so the presentation went well. Got a lot of positive response from the gathering in Muscat.(could have been the awesome food at the hotel! :P)
But a scary thing happened while I was there. At 6:30 in the morning, I was asleep in my room, and I got a call on my phone. I answered and a male voice said he was calling from the reception and wanted to confirm if i was staying alone in the room. I was half asleep and confused. I confirmed that I was alone. He then said that the hotel was offering a complimentary massage in my room. I was kinda confused by that, "errr.... okayy...?" and then the guy said that it was a massuer which made me feel suspicious. I said I'm not interested and he asked me if any of my friends would be interested.
He thought I was part of some cabin crew!
I said that he'd have to check with them and hung up on him.
I called guest relations, tracked the call to another room at the hotel, made a formal complaint against the guy, and they had him kicked out!
Imagine if I'd let the guy into my room!
And this was no cheap hotel. It was a 5 star one with chains all over the world! The hotel was of course, very apologetic and whatever, but how does that change anything?!
I'm going for a quick break to India (nasik) with friends. Hope it stops raining soon and the roads aren't flooded cos we're driving from bombay to Nasik to a vineyard out there. They have a lovely bungalow too which they rent out and I intend to be in a state of complete inebriation when I'm there! :D
Hopefully I won't meet with crazy fake-masseurs while I'm there!
Thursday, July 02, 2009
I hope I survive!
Oh, and the presentation is in Muscat. Anyone from Muscat reading this blog? Mail me!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
(Typos left as is)
Her: hai, how r u
Me: hey! I'm good
iam also good
how is life
when u planning to marriage /* WTF!!! Firstly, how does she know I’m NOT married?! Secondly, WTF!!!!! And no, I have not cut out parts of the conversation. She just asked me about marriage first thing!*/
me: life is good.
I’m not planning it. How are things with you?
HER: why /* whyyy??? how the hell is it HER business to know?!*/
iam doing well
planning for a baby
me: oh ok
good luck with that! /* erm… happy humping? */
HER: but same problem is with me' /* What do you mean SAME problem?! what problem???! */
iam taking the treatment /*errrr. Not sure what to say!*/
me: oh ok
HER: where r u
me: in dubai
when u r comming to kerala /*errrr. WHY?!*/
*banging my head against the wall*
Friday, May 15, 2009
This is a sad little blog, cold and dark, like a cave. I come here when I want to forget the world that has forgotten me.
Of course, forgetting is not easy. And this cave, so filled with memories, is more a reminder than anything else of the darkness that must exist, of the rain that must fall, in this oh so very solitary journey. I wonder how other people stand it. I guess they're far braver than I will ever be.
I live each day listlessly. I took two days off from work this week. Called in sick. I did nothing all day. I longed for company, and yet shunned it.
I am weary and tired, and need a real hug. One that will fill me up inside and make me feel safe again. Need someone to make me believe that it's all meant to be. But all I have is people telling me to be patient. That'll it'll all be okay. But do you know how long I've felt like an outsider? Do you have any idea how long I've felt like a piece of driftwood floating in the sea?
I've never found home. The demons of my past seem to spring up on me everytime things seem a little better, to remind me that I can't ever escape. And now I'm afraid that I will forever be looking over my shoulder, waiting for fate to catch up with me. And really, I'm tired of running.
I feel like everything I do, I do to avoid being left alone, and yet, I feel more alone than ever. I'm the odd one out, always... like a piece of jigsaw from another puzzle, similar in shape maybe, but one that never quite fits.
This feeling just happened btw. I wasn't unhappy this morning. I wasn't happy either, but I was doing okay, or so I thought. But that feeling of just being, was so easily broken, and I was so easily hurt so deeply, that I feel like it was just a superficial band-aid on a wound that's just been cut too deep to heal.
So I crawl in here, and here I will remain.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
And no! That's not me in the pic.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
No, I don't think it's Oscar-worthy.
But what i hate now is that though Mr. Patel and Ms. Pinto may be raking in accolades for their performace, the rest of us are being called slumdogs by the white-world.
My blood boils... arrrrrgh!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I’d had a heavy lunch and was sleepy. So he took to the wheel while I fell asleep in the passenger seat.
I woke up and looked around.
"Where are we?"
“Umm al Quwain” (about a 100 kms from where we had started off).
We went to the beach and sat in our car, a few feet from the water. Rolled down the windows and watched the sunset. And talked.
Talked for hours about nothing and everything, till long after the sun had set.
I’d like to say it was one of the best days. But so many days with him were so good. Even when we did nothing.
All around me, my life is surrounded by the things that remind me of him.
His t-shirt (which is now my nightshirt cos it’s so biiiig and comfortable), his sunglasses, which I hate so I’d grabbed it off his head and put it in my bag, and now it’s with me cos I haven’t met him since… the books he wanted me to read, the dvds he wanted me to watch… the chowder I make that he likes so much… the emptiness in my life…
Why does love have to be so difficult when it’s so simple?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
The pool at the villa we were staying at. That's my room in front of it. :o)
They have this thing called "raksha" that they put in front of their houses every morning. It's like an offering to God.
The beach was a short, lovely, walk away from our villa.
... the beach.
Quad biking through the jungle is a messy business!