What is the secret to a happy relationship?

Unfortunately, men seem to always want what they can't have.

They like to chase, but if they get you, they want to move on to the next big thing.

It's almost like they prefer the pursuit of happiness more than happiness itself.

This is why they have a tendency to stray more often than women. They have to aim higher than the woman they have already as they get used to home ground in a bit and need move on to the next challenge. They get bored of the same old moves. They need change.

Like a video game, Wife 1.0 needs to be conquered until she is conquered, then they wait for the release of wife 2.0.

They don't seem to understand that life is not a PS3 game.

So what is the secret to happiness in a relationship?

I'm going to bring in a HIMYM ref here where they talk about how in a couple, there's always a Reacher and a Settler. The Reacher thinks he/she has landed someone much better than what they deserve, and the settler feels that they have "settled" for whoever they chose.

I feel, for harmony in a relationship, the men should always be the Reacher and the women the Settler.

The men will not be happy unless they feel they are the "Reacher", because then they have something to strive for as they've landed someone "better than what they deserve". They will always try to make up for it by striving to keep the woman with them. So the game is, "keep the woman". The woman on the other hand, will be happy with the attention paid to her by her partner and as a woman needs nothing more than that from a man anyway, happiness will reign!

What say?

Disclaimer: I'm 28, and single. This is my theory, for now. Who knows what kind of changes life will bring! 10 years ago, I thought I'd fall in love and get married and that by 28 I'd have a kid and a dog and a house with a garden. God had other plans I suppose, and to tell the truth, I'm quite happy for it!

Lunch on a hot Saturday afternoon

Slices of freshly baked, warm whole grain bread, two leaves of cold, crisp & crunchy iceberg lettuce, a dollop of garlic and herb cheese spread, a slice of smoked turkey breast folded into halves as it's too big to fit into the bread, and to liven things up a bit, a dash of extra-hot peri-peri sauce... washed down the sandwich with a tall glass of cold coffee (fresh milk, ice, coffee and brown sugar - blend for 3 mins). For dessert, a mango, cold and juicy.

Bliss!

The small things in life are quite underrated don't you think?

Kambaqt Ishq

It's just one of those days when you feel like nothing is going right.

But then, nothing is wrong either.

I took the day off work, spent the entire day watching TV. I took a few calls, replied to a few mails, that was it. At 5 I had an appointment with an agent to check out a flat.

I'm looking to move out of mine. My friend agreed to come with me. He was stuck in traffic, so we got a little late. We finally got to the place, met with the agent. He walked us to the building, which looked like it was new, but I saw that it was actually a few years old. Met another tenant on the lift and everything.

It was on the 6th floor. Flat 614.

I looked around, wondering if this was going to be my new home.

We stood at the threshold of the house, waiting for the agent to turn the key and open the door.

Except, he couldn't.

The keys didn't work.

I don't know why. The keychain said 614. The keys were supposed to work. Except it didn't.

Agent dude apologized a lot. Asked if we could reschedule for Saturday. I said ok.

But I don't think I'll go.

I don't know... it felt like it was some sorta omen, like I wasn't supposed to live there.

I mean, these things happen to a reason don't they? Or am I putting too much into it?

I don't pretend to understand the workings of this world. Don't understand why things are the way they are. They talk about Karma. They tell you that it's all for the best, it's all meant to be.

When someone breaks your heart, it's supposed to be alright, cos that's just cos it wasn't the right one, cos "someone better" is coming my way.

I don't understand why we need to be hurt now for some promised land of happiness in the future.

My friend, the guy I went with to check out the house. He's a good guy. He married someone he was completely in love with a little over a year ago. Now, he's getting divorced.

He's hurt so bad that he's completely lost faith in all women.

I'd like to console him and tell him that it's not always like that, that he will meet someone again... but I can't bring myself to say that. Cos I don't know do I?

I mean, look at me. What do I know of love? I've been in love twice, and believe you me, it's worse the second time round!

You would think getting your heart ripped out once is hell!

After that, when you finally heal, after what feels like eons of wading through hurt and disbelief and distrust, and meet someone who makes you believe you can finally start trusting again, letting that iron-clad fist over your heart open a teeny little bit, it's happens again.

That's when you realize, that your heart, when it's breaks once, it's ok. But when it breaks twice, that's it. That's one time too many. You stop believing.

So that's where I am now.

There was a time when I thought you were the love of my life...

things change.