Sunday, June 20, 2010

What is the secret to a happy relationship?

Unfortunately, men seem to always want what they can't have.
They like to chase, but if they get you, they want to move on to the next big thing.
It's almost like they prefer the pursuit of happiness more than happiness itself.

This is why they have a tendency to stray more often than women. They have to aim higher than the woman they have already as they get used to home ground in a bit and need move on to the next challenge. They get bored of the same old moves. They need change.
Like a video game, Wife 1.0 needs to be conquered until she is conquered, then they wait for the release of wife 2.0.

They don't seem to understand that life is not a PS3 game.

So what is the secret to happiness in a relationship?
I'm going to bring in a HIMYM ref here where they talk about how in a couple, there's always a Reacher and a Settler. The Reacher thinks he/she has landed someone much better than what they deserve, and the settler feels that they have "settled" for whoever they chose.

I feel, for harmony in a relationship, the men should always be the Reacher and the women the Settler.

The men will not be happy unless they feel they are the "Reacher", because then they have something to strive for as they've landed someone "better than what they deserve". They will always try to make up for it by striving to keep the woman with them. So the game is, "keep the woman". The woman on the other hand, will be happy with the attention paid to her by her partner and as a woman needs nothing more than that from a man anyway, happiness will reign!

What say?

Disclaimer: I'm 28, and single. This is my theory, for now. Who knows what kind of changes life will bring! 10 years ago, I thought I'd fall in love and get married and that by 28 I'd have a kid and a dog and a house with a garden. God had other plans I suppose, and to tell the truth, I'm quite happy for it!


pRasad said...

Somewhat you are right.. I don't quite agree want to move on to new challenge but they get bored soon...that's true.

Indian Pundit said...

Quite funny.....not always true.
"better than what they deserve"...there is a twist in it.

If the man is "continuously looking type"...he will move on again!!

and do all men change their gf/wife often????

Take Care.

Siddharth said...

There's too much thinking there without and mention of core values.
There's no end to philosophy.
Without values and ethics, anyone is going down, be it greedy/lustful/irresponsible men or anybody else.

bee!!! said...

Ooh I agree ,, and I watched that one from HIMYM ... you put this so decently .. I told my ex that men are like dogs chasing cars.. the moment the car stops ,they hv no idea what to do and run towards the next moving car !!

Saaketh said...

I don't quite agree on that, I think every guy knows wht to do when the car stops :P

~G said...

Also, if a woman is a reacher and the man the settler then typically the woman would try and please the man so that he stays 'settled' for her and doesn't move on. That way the man also keeps getting variety all the time.And I like Bee's analogy.

Alice Mathew said...

There is a path for everyone set by God, and if we follow that path we will be in complete happiness most of the time. Our parents or anyone else cannot decide, but only God can, and whether they like it or not, we should follow the path set of us so that we will be happy. My cousin was pressured to get married after graduating college by her parents, but she never felt ready for it and rebelled. She did not want to marry from Kerala due to several reasons (it's a different matter not to be discussed here but her reasons are valid bout some Keralites there). She knew she was better off being single and felt she was happier. Well fastforward to now, she's almost 42 and she's happily married with a beautiful little boy and triplets on the way :D. Ironic huh?