Everyone seems to have such fixed ideas about marriage and relationships. But the thing is, I don't think its fixed. It varies from person to person and relationship to relationship. Everyone has issues of their own, and we have to find someone who understands them and they can be compatible with, people who think similiarly. And its just plain lucky if you do!Cos you think you know a person, and then you see a side of them you never even knew existed. And you're like "What was I thinking??!"
I know loads of people (all of the them women though ) who are unmarried and happy and living full and complete lives, and I know married people (so many that it freaks me out)who are miserable, but just continue to live it like that out of convenience or cos they're scared of society and being on their own. I mean, who decides what is a complete life anyway? YOU do! Cos its YOUR damn life ain't it ?! Who cares if someone else thinks that getting married is the pits, maybe YOU wanna get married, cos you know that's how YOU will be happy. Or maybe you don't.
I KNEW that I would be happy being married when I had first fallen in love. How wrong was I! We had been friends for over three years. We didn't have to tell each other that we had fallen in love, we knew it already. But we hadn't said anything about it cos it was gonna be difficult. He being a Christian and me being a Hindu would make it VERY tough for our parents to accept us. But in the end we decided that we would try and convince our parents anyhow. Later, I find that he is the girlfriend-beating type. Well, He slapped me once and promised it wouldn't happen again. Why did I forgive him? Cos I still loved him! I know, stupid, but it happens a lot. We used to fight ALL the damn time! I was so sick of it, and he was too! Still later, his parents find out he chickens out.
We break up. I'm totally disillusioned obviously. I mean, I thought you meet someone and fall in love and that would be it. I had never felt so alone in all my life. I was all alone in Delhi, with no friends to speak of, no boyfriend and a broken heart. I couldn't run to my family, no way. When my mum came to know about my relationship, she had told me I was being stupid, and that he was a christian, and he will not be there when his parents find out. And I was so sure of myself, and him. I reassured her that that was bullshit! How could I run back to her? I had lost everything, but I was still proud as hell. Must be a leo thing.
Slowly things change. I begin to realise where I had gone wrong. I had had no life of my own in Delhi. I had only acquaintances, no friends. All of my friends were his friends from his college. I was an extension of his life. Which was a big mistake. Cos when that ended, I had nothing.
Slowly, I made friends, tried to fix my life back together. And then things got really bad.He came back into my life again, saying he was sorry for being such a jerk and all, and that he wanted to be friends. I was okay with being friends, cos I still didn't hate him ( I wonder why!).
But he just didn't know how to be friends. He became jealous when guy-friends from work called. He started calling me at all hours of the night and day, telling me that he needed me for emotional support and crap. I had had enough. I told him to leave me alone. I stopped answering his calls. But then he logged into my yahoo messenger ( he had my password and I had not changed it, never thought he would turn out to be a maniac) and checked my mail too and he changed my password and didn't give it to me for three days! Which was the last straw!
I changed my password, changed my house, and phone number.
Before I left, he came to my PG and told me he needed me to be there for him. I told him to never to come to me again, and if he does I would go to the police. He slapped me and walked off before I could recover from the shock and break his nose!
Then one day I was in Green Park market haggling with the auto drivers when suddenly I hear somebody shout my name. I look back and see him beaming at me, so happy that he saw me and all! I couldn't believe the guy! The last time he saw me, he had slapped me and walked off and now he is acting like nothing had happened! I just jumped into the next auto and sped off, to where Rohan( not his real name) was waiting for me.
Rohan, my new boyfriend.
But that is another post.