Monday, July 31, 2006

Apparently, I must marry him

You must marry him.
Dad, I don't like him.

(I don't like anybody who tells me that my mother is right about the fact that this is the right time for me to get married cos otherwise I "will be in trouble" and that "we are Indians, moreover Keralites", and that we are "bound by our culture".

He is educated, good looking, and working as a researcher in Germany. What else do you want?
(Someone who doesn't think that I am bound by my culture perhaps? ) I don't like him daddy, I don't want to get married to him.

What are your intentions? I'm grwing old, I'm sick of people asking me why you are not getting married... you know the drill.

God help me!

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is from experience. Every dude out there will have some quirks as nobody is perfect.

So unless you have someone lined up or some sound reasons to reject the guy whom your family likes, you should make an attempt to know the guy.

Researchers are not dumb people nor are they any less romantic. In fact, they have more time than folks to indulge in romance ;-)

Another Scientist

Sonia said...

another scientist: i have nothing against scientists. did you not read what i just wrote about the guy? I talked to the guy and do not want to be married to him.

peaceguy said...

may God help you...!!!

Anonymous said...

Personally I am against the concept of marriage...I must say you must marry only if you are fully convinced about it...not just your society or parents or relatives wants you to see married...they all CONDITIONED to think that there is no life without marriage...

Anonymous said...

Anyways what is bad about being cultured (or bound to some culture?)

Culture gives us moorings. If the guy has issues with your culture dump his royal ass.

Another scientist

Saltwater Blues said...

Hi Sonia: I don't normally comment on personal/family matters, but looking at how this whole marriage business is tormenting you, I'd say it might be a good idea to live on your own (if you're financially independent).

Hope everything works out well.

hj said...

I don't thing ur folks will allow u to live on your own and neither will they step back from the whole marry this guy funda unless u have someone lined up to keep them busy. I would suggest either speak to tell them u r ready for marriage but only with someone u find interesting..then keep rejecting them...they will be busy finding some guy u describe second way is to go do your MBA or convince them u want to study further in india and after that u will do as they please...will be a good break! - I know if only life was that easy but just trying to brain storm some ideas

indianpeppone said...

Hang in there girl....no point in saying yes just to get it over with...and the mallu heritage dialogue will never go...just ignore...easy formula.. listen - smile - ignore :D

AB said...

Just stick to your guns babe. My folks give me the same thing that once youare above 25, the marriage market is bleak. It's hateful. Something will work out. So enjoy and plan out that trip as best as you can.

When I try to lie, I have this huge giveaway grin pasted on my face that is dreadfully revealing...

Lost in trance... said...

'german researcher'...y does he sound old? :)

Sonia said...

Peaceguy: He will. He's the only hope I have now.

anon who is against marriage: i shouldn't marry unless i meet someone who makes me feel like i wanna. and this guy makes me feel like joining a monastery just to get avoid being married to him! and yeah, parents and relatives... sigh.

Another scientist: in my case, my "culture" is choking me to death.

Saltwater blues: I do need to move out, but living in dxb is near impossible on your own unless the company provides accomodation. Or unless you make around 50grand a month ( which i don't)

hj: won't work at this stage.

indianpeppone: i am i am! I'm not gonna give in for someone who thinks so differently about life.

ab: planning the trip is farrrr from enjoyable.how to approach my folks is taking up all of my planning time! :o(

When you lie you have a wide grin on your face?! hmmm! trying to figure out which is worse, your's or mine - i stammer, try to change the subject, and then just tell the truth! :D

Lost in Trance: HOW WAS IT??!!! :o)
HOW R YOUUUUUU?? r u just making the rounds or r u back?

and he's 30.

Anonymous said...

he is not your type of guy or thinking doesnt match then who is your kind of guy and what kind of thinking?

Lost in trance... said...

...dont give in unless you feel good abt it...wat happened to the trip?

im still kinda finding my feet here in kochi...in all senses :)

GhostOfTomJoad said...

Hang in there...and this too shall pass!

the wise old man said...

women's lib. oprah winfrey. what women really want. control of her destiny. all must surrender to culture....
doesn't leave you too much choices, does it?

Anonymous said...

how come you always write about the problems and miseries and never about some happy fond memories?..i dont mean to judge but are you a pesimist in life...it will be good to hear some fun and happy things happening around u...

Sonia said...

anon:i'll only know when i meet him.

lost in trance: the trip is still on, i have my tickets and i'm all set to go... as soon as i break it to my folks.

ghostoftomjoad: i don't think so. not this time.

the wise old man: i'm confused enough as it is, please don't confuse me more!

anon: i only blog when i'm unhappy. when i'm happy, i don't need to blog.

Lost in trance... said...

neplans to come down to godsowncountry-fullofpotholes?

Inkblot said...

you gotta help yourself honey. god is fairly useless when it comes to this stuff (among other things)...

Anonymous said...

Try to live on yourself, not neccessary in dxb,maybe somewhereelse in this world?! Why dont you move out of your folks' house if you cant stand of them? Maybe you can apply a MBA program in the US of A.You will meet more ppl from all of the world so that you will not need your folks and THEIR friends to get you a guy.Do you have any friends out there to help you find a school or something? Dont give it up, girlie, be tough and independant to be yourself and to live your own life! Hang in there!!! Good luck and take care!

Anonymous said...

Try to live on yourself, not neccessary in dxb,maybe somewhereelse in this world?! Why dont you move out of your folks' house if you cant stand of them? Maybe you can apply a MBA program in the US of A.You will meet more ppl from all of the world so that you will not need your folks and THEIR friends to get you a guy.Do you have any friends out there to help you find a school or something? Dont give it up, girlie, be tough and independant to be yourself and to live your own life! Hang in there!!! Good luck and take care!

Sonia said...

lost in trance: nope. not if i can help it.

inkblot: i do what i can.

anon: can't move at the moment. loads of reasons, none that anyone else would be interested in. but yeah, i have my reasons. this being tough business isn't easy.

Rhyncus said...

Well, he's right when he says one is bound (I'd rather use 'defined') by one's culture. But maybe he's making a fairly large assumption as to what your culture really is and if it's similar to his culture. But then, to echo your dad, what are your intentions anyway? :)

Sonia said...

Rhyncus: sigh! My "intention" is to not be pressurized into marrying someone i don't like. to maybe meet someone i can like before i even think of falling in love with him. and then maybe if things work out, then i might give marriage a try.

Prerona said...

may god help you indeed! all the best girl :)

Rahul said...

here after very long... same holds for blogging... i dont know the background... so just take care and keep believing in yourself :-)

Prerona said...

hi sonia, thanks for visiting. :)

Prerona said...

hi sonia, thanks for visiting. :)